Friday, March 5, 2010

Caught off Guard!

Im sorry if this sounds as if I am venting, but I have had a seriously long and spriritually challenging week. And last night just seriously topped off the week.  While standing at my childrens science fair last night a woman I know came up to me and said that she saw a program on tv that morning showing some black guys talking about how they wish they would not have been adopted. Im not sure why she felt the need to tell me this story, other than I have an adopted daughter. Humm, any way she proceeded to tell me that the guys were very bitter that they were adopted and felt they missed out on all their black heritage. ( I don't know where they were adopted from)  she said "do they think they really missed out on being on the streets, getting caught up in gangs" etc..she went on and on.. Then she talked about an experience she had in the past working with people of color, she called them black people. Her experience she said was aweful and it changed her view of them forever, she said it honestly made her a racist!!   I was so caught off guard by her comments and my heart rate was getting higher by the minute.  I was pretty much speechless, but I did say to her that every adopted child has a different experience and I also said that I also know many white causaian people that can be absolutly horrible too, and I would not want to deal with some of them. I did not go on, but walked away because I was getting so worked up inside.  I wanted her to know color doesn't matter. Some people can be good and some bad, it does not have to do with the color of their skin.

So later my regrets and anger starts to set in about this conversation she had with me. Don't you hate when you so caught off that you can not thinking on your feet? Or you feel you did not say enough.I was soooooo upset when I got home I could not sleep. Partly because I was mad at myself and partly because it made me realize that some people really are still racist. I never thought she was, but now I know differently.  So what does she think about Asian children? It is unfortunate the story that she heard on tv that morning. Because I do believe we all CAN make a difference in the life of a child! I believe all children are the same weather adopted or not, white, asian, black, whatever the color whatever the race...some children will have a great childhood and some will possibly grow up at odds with their parents or recenting them for some reason. If you are judging others, then who is judging you?? God can handle that job all by himself!!

I can honestly say that I do not even see color! I thank God for that! I see children, I see people, I see a world that God created and we need to do and act and love as Jesus would do!!  We also have friends who have the most beautiful children of color I just love them so much, they are the family who also became inspiration to us to also adopt, and you never know we too may adopt again some day, maybe from Korea, maybe from Ethiopia. These comments made me realize that some people are still seriously stuck back into racial thinking.. ...sadly even some christians I guess. It truely breaks my heart that she feels such a way. Maybe it is her generation maybe not, but it seems my generation or at least the people we hang out with and call our closest friends are not that way at all. I was definetly not prepared for this. God forgive me for not saying more!!  I know if I encounter some conversation like this again i will be better prepared on what more I will say.


Waiting4OurAngel said...

I'm so sorry you had to listen to such a jugdemental lady. That would have bothered me too. I also have times where I don't say what I want because I'm so shocked at the things that come out of people's mouth. Hope you have a great weekend:)

3 Blessings said...

I too hate when that happens because I replay it in my mind 500 times and think of all the things I should have said. The only thing I have ever had someone say to me about color, I told them that I am not color blind, I am color appreciative. I try to appreciate the beauty in all God's creations and masterpieces. That kinda stopped the conversation from going anywhere. She didn't know what to say after that. Prayer for that person that they may see with clearer eyes, bless and release it to God is my only advice :) Have a great weekend.

Stacey said...

I agree with Amy! I am sorry you had to deal with this but now I can only assume God is waiting to hear from you... pray for God to take care of this, so you don't have to! You are such a strong, amazing woman and God has gifted you in so many ways but don't worry about not saying anything. Probably if God wanted you to say something, He would have gave you the words. I will pray for God to give you peace and serenity this week! Lets get together too!

The Marshalls said...

I can give you the other side...I am truly happy that I was adopted. My parents loved me, I got to go to school and to college, and now I believe that I have a successful career and a family of my own that could never be replaced. I know not only about my own culture, but also the cultures of other countries that I probably wouldn't have had the privilege to learn about.

Yes, people can say things that are certainly not appropriate and I believe it is either due to ignorance or lack of education. And many of these people choose to live a life of scorn, anger, complaints, or being introverted.

I'm sorry that the woman said that to you. You are not alone when people say things like that. But, there are many of us adoptees out there who will back up pro-adoption any time, anywhere!