Monday, March 26, 2012

When the questions arrive...

Today I am reaching out to a few of my friends that I know have gone through this same thing...the day your child that was born in your heart and not in your tummy starts asking you questions that you want to be sure to answer in the correct way.  Maybe Im putting too much stress on myself about it. But is a gentle topic I think. One that needs to be treated with tenderness and consideration.

Today my heart is heavy and eager to get advice from some wise people who have traveled down this path before I have. We always want to be open to Gracie about her adoption, about the country she came from and of course her birth parents and the great foster family she was blessed with while in Korea. We will share with her everything at the right time. For now she is 3 and I want to be prepared. This sweet baby girl of mine since the day we got our referral for her back in 2008 I have prayed that she would never experience a feeling of having something missing in her heart, but I have prayed that God would always always fill that place.

Today my heart is heavy and full of love at the same time for my precious baby girl!!


Mel said...

While it's a super-important topic, I think kids have a sixth-sense about how you handle it. If you're stressed out about having the perfect answer, it will not go well. She'll sense your stress and taboo the topic in the future. I'd advise to focus more on staying relaxed and less about what actually comes out of your mouth. At any rate, just answer honestly and plainly and, for now, just answer what she asks. An innocent question of "Where was I born?" at age 3 is probably not an invitation for a dissertation on her life story and how much you love her. It just needs a simple, "Korea." If she wants more, she'll ask more.


Katie said...

We talk often of Korea, Paul's birth mommy and his omma and oppa (what we call his foster parents). He knows that we waited a long time to bring him home....and now understands what that means as we all wait for little sister. Recently he started talking about babies in bellies which was our cue to start talking about that too. We have told him that he is so special to have 3 mommies....birth mommy, foster mommy and forever mommy. So far he is agreeable to that and seems happy with the response. We have always fostered opn communication and taken our lead from him. If you parent from your heart in these situations then I don't think you can go wrong. Be honest. Be loving. Be her forever mommy.

Mama, Ababa, and Woosha said...

I just posted about this (I have a 3 year old as well and we went to see an attachment therapist as a "check-up" and to ask some of these questions...). Hopefully some of what I posted will be helpful to you too:-)