Change of Season

Lately we have been so busy that I have not allowed the reality that my son is going to be leaving the home for college hit me too much. If it entered my mind I quickly made it go away with denial. But the other night as I was locking up the house I passed by his room and being strong no longer existed for me. I just stood there and looked in his room and the next thing I know I was sobbing. I realized that his room is going to be empty, the house will be more quiet, the chip bags will last longer :-), my lunch times with him every day are no longer, and so many other things I will miss about him being here daily!!  I do not like this season in life. I want to go back. I want to hold on longer. But guess what? Time keeps going. He is ready to be on his own weather I am ready or not it is happening. I am proud of him and all he has and is becoming, but as his mom, I just am not ready for this stage of life at all. On a positive note, he will only be an hour away so we can go see him pretty easily. He will be going to school in the same city my husband works in and for that I am very thankful!!! But this new stage is a huge transition for us all.  As much as I do not like this, and as much wrestling with feelings that I experience I also feel God saying "it's ok, this may not be easy and it may hurt to let go, but I will watch over him, trust me and it will all be ok".