Children are a Gift From God, Our Korean Adoption Journey

Being a full time homemaker...

2012-01-25T10:21:00.000-07:00

Well it is hard to believe it is already the middle of January. Seems this fall went very fast. Last year at this time I was choreographing a big spring show and had about 24 dances waiting to be created by me. Lets say ..HIGH STRESS. I have to admit that I certainly do not miss that stress of what this time of year use to bring us each year where that is concerned. But I do definetly miss my students, I miss teaching them, and I miss being able to express myself through my dance. Something no one understands unless you have walked in the shoes of a dance studio owner.

Being home full time has had huge benifits for my kids, I can see it. Although finacially sometimes I feel guilty like I should be working. I can tell the two older kids like me being here more. Although they are both usually busy with their own things just like a teenagers are, they still know Im here. While Gracie gets me all day long :-). Sometimes winter days seem to get long when we can not get outside to play, so I have to be creative with play things, but I have also been tossing the idea around of preschool classes for her for the rest of the winter. It would be just two days a week and only 2.5 hours. I remember Amanda being at the studio and making little friends in her dance classes. But with Gracie, all my friends children are either older , or much younger..I think she needs preschool not only to learn and challenge her, but also a way for us to meet some little people and make new friends! She is a social butterfly, loves kids, plays so good with them, and I just know she would probebly love it. Im really proud of the two older ones...Amanda is in her first play that will be this spring and doing great in school, and Bailey is having fun playing basketball for the highschool...Highschool games are so much fun!

Looking back 2011

2012-01-06T21:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it seems as if this past year went very slowly and yet so fast. Hard to believe another year is behind us and another awaits us. Our family had alot of blessings, changes, and challenges over this past year. After 16 yrs of Terry having his city engineer position here he accepted a new position in a community that would require him to commute 1.5 hrs there and back each day. These changes were really hard on our family and I won't sugar coat it! Me running my dance business and him not home until 7 took its toll on us pretty quickly! About 11 months later he was offered another job in a closer community. Now commuting only 45 minutes and getting home by 5 makes this much easier on all of us.

As you probably read earlier last fall I closed my dance business of 12yrs as well. Again one of the hardest decisions I have had to personally make for myself. But now being home full time things are sure much more peaceful around here. I was use to being extremely crazy busy and now life has slowed down quite a bit. Being here when the two older ones get home from school and home with Gracie is priceless. I am very much available to everyone and I know they all LOVE that!! I also competed in three NPC fitness competitions in the past year. It took alot of training and dedication, but being a goal oriented person my mind was set to try to achieve something such as this. It has truly changed me for the better. I plan to continue in the fitness world and some day receive my Pro-card and also become a certified trainer and help others reach their fullest potential. The support I got from people around me was so important, and the non support of others I just had to try not to let it bother me.

Also in the past year our kids transferred from Christian school into public school, this was a bit of an adjustment for them both as well. So it seemed we all had changes and our own challenges. But the kids both have made really good and new friends, they are doing great and involved in their school. Bailey is playing bball and Amanda will be in her first play. I have seen them blossom and grow and come out stronger! When you are in challenge life can seem so hard, but when you get through it you see the beautiful rainbow at the end, you learn from them and you grow and become a stronger person!

2012 is here and I'm sure there will be challenges along the way, there always are in life..but it is all in how you handle them, and what you can learn from them that matters. With out some challenges we would not learn to appreciate those small or large blessings that come! God never said he would leave us alone. In fact he walks right by our side every day. And at those time when things get rough he will carry you through it if you need.

Visiting home to see family

2011-12-29T21:09:00.000-07:00

Since terry just started his new job, he has no vacation leave, so this week the kids and I took a trip home to see some family and my best friend now and from highschool. It was a really quick trip,but worth it so that we could see everyone just a bit. Here are some quick snap shots...that were taken at my grandmas "shop".
My Grandma (we are at her shop) They don't live in town so when the weather gets bad they stay at the extra room at the shop so they are closer to family .

Gramps

My aunt Sandy (who is like a second mom) and uncle Bob.

My Grandma Hope- Missing my grandpa who went to be with the Lord 2 yrs ago.

LOL, my mom bought me this..cute huh?

My best friend now and from highschool was at our hometown so we had to get home to see her ...she only gets close maybe once a year or twice..Luv this girl..she is like a sister!

going out to dinner...off we go

Merry Christmas Everyone

2011-12-25T12:48:00.002-07:00

For Christmas we stay home, we use to go visit all our family which I really really miss alot! But years ago we decided to make our own family traditions. I remember transitioning from traveling to see family to decideing to make our own traditions seemed very different at first. We were use to a zillion family memebers being around and a zillion gifts to buy, wrap, and then how to bring all the stuff back home that we recieved. But after a couple years we started to really love just being home. Now that our kids are older they love being home and never want to go anywhere. We love the Christmas season...Christmas Eve Service at church, Terry's home made potatoe soup, playing with our kids, eating goodies that I bake, pop corn ball night, Santa coming in the night, waking up xmas morning to see what he brought..(this year Grace was up at 3a.m. to tell us he had been here). Hanging out relaxing on xmas day and enjoying a nice candle light dinner that night. Merry Christmas everyone, we hope that your Christmas was Christ filled and that you have many blessings in the next year!

Bailey 15, Gracie 3, (dog-Phoebee), Amanda 13

Above...we were laughing at the dog..shes laying so crazy!!

Pop corn balls night- this is a tradition that we use to do our at my grandma Schmidts while I was growing up, then my aunt Jeanie took over and we did it at her house, now we have done it at our house for the past 13 years. :-) Im sure at least one or two of my kids will continue it and the yummy handed down recipe!!

Even though Amanda got many gifts, this was the ONE and only thing she really wanted!!

Bailey thought it was awesome that Great Grandma Richards sent money in his socks :-)

Whoo hooo Gracie.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

It's her "new" smile..with keeping her mouth closed..cute huh.

My Neice ..

2011-12-20T21:06:00.002-07:00

One month old today, my sweet neice Eira Christine

Merry Christmas

2011-12-20T21:05:00.001-07:00

Did you know that the chopping down of the Christmas tree represents the death of Christ and putting it back up again represents the resurrection of Christ. Did you know that the wreaths we hang are never ending circles, that represents eternity? Candy canes were made to look like shepherd hooks and the colors red , Jesus' blood, white, purity. The gifts, represents the 3 gifts the wise men brought for Jesus. So when you are running around trying to get the "perfect gift", stop yourself take a deep breath and remember we have been given the perfect gift, Jesus Christ was given to us to remove all of our sins. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you, Jesus. MERRY CHRISTMAS! ♥ ♥ ♥

run, run, run...

2011-12-18T20:51:00.000-07:00

Tonight I realized that Christmas is only days away ..I am suddenly feeling overwhelmed with getting my shopping all done and this week is filling up with things that need to be done. Since I am not working things are also tighter so need to be a little more creative with what I buy all the "extra" people. I am feeling overwhelmed with the balance of keeping our traditions fun for the kids and yet getting everything done this week that I need to. I finally tonight ordered Christmas cards...not even sure I will get a letter out. I did get it wrote up. But on the note of Christmas letters do people really sit and really read through them or does everyone not really have the time right now to sit and read the bla bla bla of what we are all up to!!?? It seems my days are normally pretty easy going, but here in the next two weeks they are completly full and not enough time to get things done, and also see friends that I don't see too often that will be around.

Ok...Deep breath and a good nights rest will hopefully help me gather myself and get organized this week. I like my ducks in a row that is for sure. What ways do you keep your sanity during the holidays?

beginning to look alot like Christmas..

2011-12-05T21:26:00.002-07:00

our tree is all done....now just need to wrap a bunch of gifts...

I think Gracie will sit by this little ice rink all month and watch it go...:-) She is so adorable. Notice she has a bagel in her hands too....she eats alll the time 24/7. :-)

the temp today was in the single digits...Brrrrrrr

cute tiny toes...but growing up so very fast. What a fun age...she is sooo excited for Christmas!!

Even my puppy needs christmas bows..she just got all pretty today!!

In love with my neice..

2011-11-27T09:20:00.000-07:00

I am so in love with my little neice..she makes my heart pitter patter...

I got to bond with her for a while while my sister did some laundry downstairs. See her little hand holding my thumb..how cute is that?? Oh my goshhh..

This is my favorite....I could have fallen asleep with her..My little Eira!!!

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-27T09:16:00.000-07:00

aunt Paige with Gracie

this year thanksgiving was very different from past years. Usually we are around between 20-30 family members at my Grandmothers house in my home town. But this year with my sister having her baby we spent thanksgiving here at the cabin with a very small amount of family. Turned out we did not see my sister and baby this day as they were with her hubby's family all day. Oh well, we got to see them the next day. Either way the cabin is a peaceful place to be, but missed seeing my grandparents big time this year. Now not sure when we will make a trip home to see them, but sometime very soon, hopefully before Christmas. So for us this year Thanksgiving was pretty quiet!

Amanda and I on cabin deck..

My mom and Mark...

some of the little crowd at table

my two teenagers....

Happy 13!!!

2011-11-20T21:30:00.000-07:00

to my beautiful daughter Amanda- I love you more than you will ever know. My sweet little girl. I remember the day that I gave birth you like it was yesterday and the sweet sound of "It's a Girl" was like music to my ears! You slept in my arms all night long, I did not sleep at all because I was so excited. Then of course the next day I was exhausted. It is amazing to me now to see what an absolutly wonderful young girl you have become. You love the Lord, your an amazing friend, always think of others around you, and you adore your little sister like no other. Oh and the fact that you still really acually think I am the cooolest mom around totally warms my heart!! I am proud of who you have become. Happy 13th Birthday !! I love you!!

Pool party with friends the night before..and big brother behind putting her face into her cake..ughh

the next day we all went out to eat to celebrate on her acual bday, and then I surprised her and took her shopping and let her pierce her ears a second time. :-) Fun girl day!!

We also have the complete joy of seeing my little neice born today. So it is sooo cool that little Eira and Amanda will share the same birthday...(more baby pics to come). What an amazing day!!

can you tell I am a proud auntee or what!!??

Being a Mother is a treasure..

2011-10-25T14:48:00.001-06:00

My kids mean the world to me!

sweet, loving, incredibly well mannered, talks all the time, playful, imaginative, and always wants to do things herself.

A leader and looked up to, a great friend to others, sweet, caring, lovable, honest and truthful, smart yet witty, full of talent and ambition for life, always strives for the best.

caring for others around him, loveable, smart, learns from mistakes, affectionate and always has a hug and an I love you for everything!

"The profit is in the albums"

2011-10-25T14:21:00.001-06:00

Today I was talking to an old friend about my studio and I said I always envisioned selling the business and making a profit after 12 yrs instead of just closing my doors. My friend said "The profit is in all of your photo albums, and all the girls lives you touched over the years and the memories they have". This statement really hit me and the more I think about it I realize just how true that really is. I think just hearing that today has helped me hit a new level of acceptance for moving on with my life in another direction. It's like a band aid for my heart! :-) The profit really is in all of my photo albums, and boy do I have many of them! I have great memories that can never be replaced by money, but only to be treasured in my heart!

Playing in the fall leaves

2011-10-23T20:30:00.000-06:00

What a beautiful, sweet, and playful little daughter I have!!

I got my ears pierced!!!

2011-10-18T21:18:00.000-06:00

Yes it was her idea! She said when Im 3 I want to get my ears pierced. Oh and she said on a friday!! Not sure where that came from but one day I was going to take her and it was not on a friday, and she was sure to tell me "no mommy it's not friday yet". Little smart girl ! So we rehearsed this over and over, how there will be a poke that may hurt a little but only for a short while, you may cry a little , but not for long . You know the whole deal. So the day came and she was excited. The girl did one ear then the other. She sat there not crying at all. She waiting a bit , then I swear there was a look on her face that said " hmm when mommy rehearsed this with me I think I was suppose to cry".."Yeah I think I'll cry now". She did not cry long..and soon we were off to getting ice cream and she was asking me to text daddy a picture of her new earrings!! LOL. Funny sweet girl !!

Recognizing different races

2011-10-18T21:13:00.000-06:00

Before I tell you my story of today, just let me say that were we currently live there is really not alot of diversity. Definetly not many people you see from Korea. Ok with that in mind ..here is my story.

Sisters are forever!!

Today Gracie and I took our weekly trip for groceries to walmart. As we walked in there was another family that looked like they were Korean. Grace glued her eyes on them, even looking over me to watch them . As I kept walking into the store (her in the cart) they soon followed. She kept looking around me to see if they were coming. I slowed down to see what she would do. As this family walked by she just stared at them with amazement. I could see in her face what she was thinking. I said to her do you think they were born in Korea like you ? She said yeah I think they are from Korea mommy!! I realized that she had some connection and excitement with seeing them. Later in the night I was sharing the story with my husband, only this time I had tears fill my eyes. I'm not sure why really other than I realize that she is learning how people look different, noticing different cultures, specifically her own, and I know we need to have more talks about her beautiful story. It prompted me to start working more on her life book! I want to always be open about everything with her. This book will lay out her story with pictures and we can read it to her. She can be proud of her birth country and culture. I just feel that being open , honest , and proud in a positive way will help her to have high self confidence and know with out a doubt that even though she did not grow under my heart she grew in my heart and she is 100% our daughter, and we are her family!

Happy Birthday Storff man!!

2011-10-16T19:34:00.002-06:00

Today we celebrated Terry's (storff's ) B - Day!! I think he just turned 30...or something like that. LOL. The weather was perfect so we got outside to take some fun photos, then took the b-day boy to dinner,

And...the perfect ending to the day is to watch His VIKES (lose)..I mean play ..haha

We all even got on our VIkings Gear thinking it might help them win...but ummm I guess it didn't help :-)

Hope you had a great birthday anyway Storff man!!! We all love you!!

A week has passed

2011-10-14T22:39:00.000-06:00

So now a week has passed since I officially started moving the studio out and closing it. Today I had to go up there to open the doors so that some workers could get my mirrors off the wall and bring them to the basement of my house. Last weekend Terry and his dad cleaned out the studio for me so that I would not have to be up there, today was the first time I'd been there alone, and with it completly empty. It took me back to the day I first moved into the building. I remember I was so excited to have found such a special place, great windows, and great views. I had to pause for a moment by myself as tears rolled down my face I would remember soooo many great memories with all of my kids through the years. I walked from room to room just to remember all the great things that happend here in my sweet amazing space!! I then quickly left still crying as I walked down the stairs and out the door. I believe at times I just function in a state of denial or disbelief, but it is real and this is a new chapter of my life now weather I like it or not, it is what it is and I need to pick myself up and keep working towards all the other opportunities that await me. .....

A few fall pictures

2011-10-03T14:19:00.000-06:00

work weekend

2011-10-03T13:55:00.000-06:00

This past weekend was definetly a big work weekend for us all. Getting things sold at the studio, moving the keep stuff home (which I have no place for) and the stuff that is to dump. It was a pretty successful weekend for selling. I was able to sell a majority of all the big things, but I have to say there is still alot of things left. Thankfully I had a friend show up on saturday to just support me. She was amazing helping me pack things on friday and then to show up out of the blue on saturday just cause she knew I was having a hard time was extremely special to me. I never expect anything from anyone really. So when someone does something like that out of the kindness of their own heart it definetly gives me warm fuzzys. It seems this day and age people are definetly wayyy to busy with there own lives usually to just go out of there way to lend a hand unless you happen to ask. It was great having her there and I ended up using her shoulder at least one time on saturday! :-)

Now this week I need to move everything that has not sold (not sure where to go with it all, our garage is all full of the keep stuff). I am feeling overwhelmed by things things and more things all around me. I feel i could literally just put it all in the garbage. I hate stuff, and being consumed by it all. I am a neat and tidy person, and when things are out of order, I feel out of order. Feels like I am drowning in it all, and I really don't even want to look at it. This will more than likely be my last week of getting the studio packed. I know the day I lock that door and walk away will be a teary moment for me. 11 yrs come and gone!

Last night my daughter did say to me "mom it has been really nice having you home at night when we get home from school". I have to say that made my day!! :-)

Phase One..Sell, Sell, Sell (Going to be a tuff day)

2011-10-01T08:40:00.000-06:00

This week I have been trying to work on my dance studio and get all the stuff from 11 yrs all packed up. I never imagined how overwhelming all this stuff would be! Sell, throw, and go home piles. I have had my moments of tears, and moments of strength and excitement for what lies ahead. This morning is my big sale..many other studio friends from other towns will be coming to buy hopefully alot of my stuff. Cross my fingers and hope that much of it will sell. Deeeeep Breathhhh!!! ..................................

Sisters Baby Shower

2011-09-28T23:50:00.002-06:00

It's a GIRL!!! Can you tell Im so very excited to meet my sweet little neice?

I thought I would share a few photos from my sister Mandi's baby shower. This is her first baby and yes we are all so excited that we will be welcoming a sweet baby girl into the family! She is not due till mid November so we have just a little longer to wait to hold this sweet little angel.

Mandi and our Momma

Mandi with Mother in Law- One of the sweetest ladies i know...and proud to see her very first grandchild!

Let the games begin...The pooop game..yuk...gross...My little neice (brothers girl) taking a good little wiff

The super mom game...while someone distracts you (grandma) you need to talk on the phone, hold baby, and get the cloths on the line in speedy time! This is our aunt Sandy!

Here is mom giving it a try and of course was the SUPER MOM WINNER!

Cousin photo

this time lets get the orange out of our mouth Gracie...lol

our sweet gramps just soaking it all in, thinking we are all nuts while playing the games..

Mandi and I with our aunt Sandy ...shhhh Im her favorite neice!! lol

I love my sister more than anything! I am so proud of her and her husband for what they have become and so happy they are giving me a precious neice. :-) Love you BOO BOO!!

Closing the doors on my business...

2011-09-26T14:12:00.000-06:00

Big life decision for me to make..Here is a little history and me just sharing my heart!

The beginning:
Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of one day having my very own dance studio. In 2000 I decided to take the big step and go for it. Having two kids under the age of 4 I knew this may be a big difficult to juggle business and family, but my husband was my #1 encourager and supporter. In 2000 I opened my door in the basement of my home thinking I would start out small. After a couple weeks I clearly needed a larger space to call Tina’s Dance Studio. We found a great little building and opened up for my first season with a great show at the end of the year. My number one goal was to always keep my students in a positive and fun learning environment, to never have suggestive dance movements or vulgar music. I stood solid on that for 11 years. I vowed my studio would be different also with the fact that I would incorporate Liturgical dance and never being ashamed of God or expressing his love and strength. Using this expressive dance I know touched many and may have offended some. The growth of the studio steadied off after about 5 years and I kept around the same numbers. Sometimes I would put in countless hours depending on what time of year it was, and teaching around 17 classes a week. At times this did wear me down and tire me out as any job does. It was always my heart for teaching that kept me going.

Pulling at my heart strings:
In 2009 we brought home our sweet daughter from Korea. My life got even busier with 3 children now. I was also starting to feel that I was missing out on the other two because when they were out of school I was going to teach. This created “mommy guilt”. For many years my husband definitely had the itch to change his job career. He had many opportunities to do so. But I was not ready to leave or give up my studio. Now looking back that is my one regret. I should not have hung on so tightly. In 2010 – my decade mark… I felt in my heart it was time to say good bye to the studio. Yet at the same time I had students that certainly did not want me to stop just yet.

2011 Saying Good bye:
Starting season 12 the reality of saying Good bye to my dream….to my business sets in.
This is a hard one to write about…a hard one to think about but I am forced now to face it. First just let me state that this is not like walking away from just any old job. This business, my career was started and built by me one student at a time. It was my heart, my soul, my life that was put into this year after year. It was my family that had to sacrifice as well, weather that was my husband giving up job opportunities, my kids giving up time they could have had me around more at night, or them all dealing with my exhaustion and stress that the business would often bring my way. Anyway that you look at it we all sacrificed to keep my business doors open. But today it is evident that it is time to say goodbye to my dream, goodbye to the number of years I worked hard and put my whole self into all my kids. Yes it was work, yes it could be stressful, but at the same time I can not imagine my life with out dancing, or without teaching!! This is my passion and is something that is so deep with in my soul that it is hard to even put into words. It is hard to say goodbye!! I can not picture myself with out it and it feels like a whole in my heart. It will take me a while to discover what is next for me, but the door is wide open now. I do know God has a plan. I trust that. I will miss the little pitter patter of my tiny ballerinas coming into my studio each week, the million hugs, the I love you’s, the smiles, the zillion x-mas parties all crammed into one week, the satisfaction of putting on a show and seeing all your work when that curtain opens and the success that many felt when they finally got that dance step they have worked so hard on. I will miss my kids (students) more than anything. They will never know how much joy they each brought to my life week after week. But those are the things I will treasure in my heart forever. I regret not being able to have a proper goodbye with them, that saddens me beyond measure. They brought light into my life and I was able to share my gift with them for many years. For that I consider myself blessed.
I thank you Lord for blessing me with this opportunity for over a decade of my life. The memories are etched deep in my heart!! The good, the bad, the laughs, and the tears have made me who I am today. Yes my heart will ache for a while, maybe a long while. Lord help me…. because letting go is one of the hardest things I have had to do. Dance is deep in my spirit, it is who I am.
On a positive note:
The tug of mommy guilt and trying to balance my business and family is no more-that is a big relief. I am looking forward to being home at night and being able to spend more quality time with my kids and family. My husband also took a new job opportunity in Rapid City and we are open to a move sometime soon. What will my next career be? I guess right now I don’t know, but I am excited to pursue other passions that I do have. I trust HE has a grand plan and I look forward to seeing it unfold.
Just like the Scripture I put in my studio web site 10 years ago says…“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you NOT to harm you , plans for hope and a future”

some time at the cabin....

2011-09-06T13:22:00.000-06:00

this weekend we got away and took off to the Cabin. Its so peaceful up there, very quiet, yet so much to do if you like to hike, swim, and play, or just relax! The weather was a little chili the first day, but the second day we were able to get in the pool.

view from the cabin deck.....

Terry and I went on a Hike, which is certainly something him and I have never done before. We have always wanted to go cut down our own xmas tree, so he found the perfect one. Hopefully we will be able to find it again in December :-)

right across from the cabin is a club house....the kids love to spend time playing over there!!

Amanda took her best buddy Mariaha...here they ar going on a walk

Happy Third Birthday Gracie

2011-08-05T11:28:00.000-06:00

classic dorkey picture of us...typical right when your trying to get a family photo..

Dear Beautiful Gracie...you are our gift from God! Happy birthday my sweety pie! We love you very much!!

I can not believe she is now 3!! It seems like yesterday she was only 8 months old. Time sure flys by fast. We had a bunch of friends over big and small and had a fun tinkerbell themed party. LOL, it is the third tinkerbell party we have had. Her choice :-) Let just say I have a ton of t.b. decorations on hand.

This little three wheeler was a hit! Perfect size for her!!! She loves it. !!

catching up

2011-07-25T14:48:00.000-06:00

Wow, I have not blogged for a while. This summer has seemed to fly by very fast. Only a few more weeks and school will be starting up again. UGH..I hate that word. I hate it when my house is quiet and I am having a serious issue with my son going into highschool. How does this time go so fast. It seems like he was just 4. Seems like it took forever for the weather here to warm up , but once it did look out because it has been very hot. I love summer because it is my time to spend with my kids. Weve been to the pools and lakes quite often, Since Terry works late I took a trip with kids to my home town. It was fun to see family and friends. No big vacation plans this summer unfortunatly :-( Life it good and I can't complain about a thing. I also know I can't blog with out leaving you some photos. So here are a few from our summer so far.
.

Gracie loves the lake and going, but doesn't like to float really very much. She'd rather play in the dirt and rocks. No beaches around here. ...

below, my best friend from forever ago reunited after 20 years of being apart. Dawn and I were best friends all through school ....and now finally we were both going to our home towns at the same time. IT was sooo amazing to see her, work out together, go to dinner, and talk about everything we could in just a short time. I miss her alot and it was hard to say good bye. Friends like this don't come around in my life too often. Sad we live far apart.

My mom and i by her pool!!

Gracie telling her Great Grandpa a long story. Can you tell she is very serious. I think Gramps got it all too.

beautiful Amanda, can't believe she will be in the 7th gr.

My aunt Sandy- someone who is like a second mom to me. For many years after my dad passed away she was the one i turned to and talked to about every day. All growing up she has been the one I knew I could talk to in confidence.

This is my gramps...he is so special to me!! Can't imagine life with out him.

sandy and amanda ...by sandys beautiful flowers!! So nice to having you live so close sandy.

and this is what I do every morning..i wake up go for my run, and eat many eggs and oats for breakfast. I have been in two fitness competitions in the past 8 months and so living healthy, staying fit has become a huge part of my life. I couldn't do any of it with out God. He paves the way! I do the work it takes to get there.

How Cute Is This!!

2011-05-21T20:48:00.000-06:00

This year I decided to tackle taking our dance studio recital photos. Here are a few of Gracie that just crack me up. She was in a great mood as she always is and totally charming during her little photo shoot. She is so tiny and soo cute!

Gracies First Dance Recital

2011-05-09T09:55:00.000-06:00

Since I teach dance for a living my sweetie pie has always been with me for many of the classes I teach. I started bringing her to the preschool dance class and she loved loved loved it so much. Even though she is just 2 1/2 she was catching on great and following along, having fun and making little friends. So this year was her first recital . My little peanut did great!! Here are some cute pics of her..

This is Amanda's 11th Year dancing , she has been at it since she was 2. You can certainly tell all her years of dance training by watching her. She is amazing to see on stage! Im so proud of both my daughters!!

Sister Love

at it's best..

Our family minus my teenage boy who was no where to be found after the show..

Gracie checking out the gift table and finding her gifts..

She said "Im so excited mommy"

In jammies at home opening gifts..she was soo excited!!

Yes even I dance in our shows..:-)

While I can ...why not!

me..

I had such a great year with all the kids! Great memories of a successful dance season!

Happy Mothers Day

2011-05-08T20:02:00.000-06:00

Happy Mothers Day to all the great moms out there. My kids are the best thing that has ever happened to me! I love them so very much!!

Trying to get a photo with my kids is a challenge sometimes..Especially with one teenager and one tweener girl!! LOL

I was lucky enough to have lots of family out to our house this weekend . Mothers day was extra special to me. Here in the photo is my mother in law, my grandmother, my mother, me, then my grandmother. They mean the world to me!!

Terry with his mom

Family Day/Gotcha Day 2 yrs ago...

2011-04-20T10:27:00.000-06:00

Above April 16, 2011 / Below April 16, 2009

The very best day of our lives was the day we held little Gracie in our arms forever!! SO many amazing feelings leading up to this day. Our sweet daughter is such a blessing in our lives. I am so thanksful for the miracle of adoption and how God really does place your child in your arms. No matter if they grow under your heart or in your heart, the feelings are all the same!!! We love you sweet Gracie!!

Beautiful day for my beautiful daughter!!

Going Private

2011-04-15T22:31:00.001-06:00

Certain circumstances from a very strange lady that has been stalking one of my other blogs, she lives here in my home town and this has caused me to decide going private with my blogs is the best thing. Unfortunately one person can ruin it for many other people. For now this is just what I have to do. I would love to still keep in touch with all my great followers. You all are absolutely wonderful. However I can not speak freely knowing there are people like her that are just waiting for me to fall and are just stalking my blogs to talk about me to others.

If you would like to follow our adoption journey and life as it is every day, then just leave me a message with your email and I will send you the private link you will need to continue to follow our blog.

hugs and love to you all!
Sincerely
Tina

I did it..My first NPC Fitness Competition

2011-04-05T22:38:00.000-06:00

Last weekend was the NPC competition that I have been training for. It was a great experience and I can't wait to do another one. This was also our first weekend away in 17 years. Our kids were with the grandparents which made it much easier to not worry about them. I knew they were in the best hands they could be in. We had a long drive, but it was nice to just talk. When we got there we met up with old friends and caught up on life. I went and got a competition spray tan which was extremely messing by the way. I competed on Saturday and placed 4th in the bikini division! I had the best time and so much fun!! but.. It is great to be back home and with my kids. I swear Grace is talking even more ..if that is possible!! lol. I plan on training for another one June 4th. But also have my spring dance production I am working on. This is usually the time of year I disapear from blog world until the first part of May because I am so swamped! After that life slows down just a tad!

pressing on..

2011-03-17T13:17:00.000-06:00

"Even the most daring and accomplished people have undergone tremendous difficulty. In fact, the more successful they became, the more they attributed their success to the lessons learned during their most difficult times. Adversity is our teacher. When we view adversity as a guide towards greater inner growth, we will then learn to accept the wisdom our soul came into this life to learn."

I came across that quote this morning and it certainly stopped me. It sure seems some days I feel I am holding on by one single thread. So many things going on in my personal life that some days I just feel drained from it all. It feels as if when I start to get strong and move past something then suddenly something els takes place in my life and once again I have to pick myself back up. Sometimes I just want to walk away from my goal, but I quickly realize and remind myself that this is the one thing I am doing for myself, it is my goal to be healthy and fit and I need to fight through to accomplish it! Life can be hard sometimes..but compared to what? There could always be worse right? In reality I probably have no right to complain. I know I am not only getting stronger on the outside, but I am being molded and becoming a stronger woman on the inside as well. It is true that difficult times do make us stronger! With Faith I believe in times of my weakness, He will carry me through!! He always has!!!

Happy St. Patricks Day

2011-03-17T13:12:00.000-06:00

It's been a fun day at home with my baby girl!!

Gracie 2 1/2 ..hard to believe she is growing up so very fast. She talks all the time :-) I think she leaves maybe one second inbetween just to catch her breath. She is so stinkin smart..I think smarter than me sometimes. LOL. Her personality is amazing, so kind and sweet..she has tremendous manners that are unbelieveable to me. Always a please and thank you very much comes from her. My sweetie pie.

The Famous "Wink" and more funny faces

2011-03-15T08:20:00.000-06:00

Now this little 2 and a half yr old has a great wink. She winks better than any of us do. It is so funny and she does it on the most perfect times!! I just had to share some of her funny faces with you as I was trying to get a nice smiley photo yesterday!!..LOL

The goofy face...

The I'm taking your picture face...

The I think I'm kinda shy face...

Then Finally ..The I think Im kinda cute nice smiley face....

I love my little Gracie!!

Where Have I Been...

2011-03-03T11:38:00.000-07:00

Wow I can not believe I have not blogged for over a month now..I use to live for blogging. Many people have asked me where I have been. Truth is I have a zillion irons in the fire right now. Life seems to be bogging me down alot. My personal life has been through some stress, I'm trying to prepare my students for our spring production and every year I wonder why I keep doing this when it gets to be so much pressure and stress on me. Im the only one that can pick out costumes, choreograph the dances and put the whole thing together. This is my 11th year and it is wearing on me. BUT, I love the kids and love to dance I can't imagine my life with out it either. So this time of year it is what it is!! Well, on top of that I have commited myself to a personal fitness challenge. I have wanted to do this for a long time, but finally had the guts to tell myself to dig my heels in and do it. I have decided to enter a fitness competition. I have been spending about 15 hours a week in the gym trying to make big changes in my body, to be healthy, toned, and fit. I have had interesting reactions from people along the way of this goal. Some of my family or friends never even ask me about it at all ..how it is going..how my goals are coming alone, or how the diet is going. Even though I have dropped about 19 inches and almost 16 pounds some still say nothing! Then I have some family and friends are huge support..they want to know what Im doing, want to know about the competition and how Im feeling! They are my cheerleaders and support system that are getting me through this. The true friends are the ones that are still by your side no matter what you look like! They support your goals and dig in with you! So to let you know where I have been I have been doing life..busy with my family..my work ..and my goal...My two year old keeps me on my toes. No matter what we are doing she is dragging out a zillion things around the house and I wouldn't have it any other way. Our nanny is working out good in the afternoons so that I can go to work. Basket ball season will end this weekend for Bailey , so we won't have that taking up our weekends. It is nice to watch him, but it is nice when they are done for the season too. Gracie has an apt his week to see if her collar bone is healed. She has done great with having to wear that brace!
She went to dance class yesterday with me and joined in with the little preschoolers..Here is a picture of my sweetie pie. I will try to keep in touch more..blessings!!

My Poor Baby....

2011-01-21T14:56:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday Gracie tripped around the dog and fell on the tile in the kitchen, it was just a little trip..nothing unusual. But as the week went on she was more and more sore and pampering her left arm alot to where she did not even want us picking her up under her arm pit on that side. Now this was totally not normal so I finally got her in to the doctor today. They took xrays and yep her collar bone is broke. My poor little baby girl. What a strong little girl she has been! So now she wears this brace for about 4 weeks. We will have a follow up apt next week to see how she is doing. Please pray it heals right and quickly. She is doing well with the brace on, and is taking a good nap right now. Amazing how little ones adjust to something so uncomfortable!!

2 years ago today...new photos

2011-01-14T22:45:00.007-07:00

2 years ago our referral for our sweet baby girl finally came. I remember clearly hoping that we would get to see our babies face before Christmas. Well Christmas came and went, but soon after came our referral. I was dropping our other two kids off at school and just as they were about to get out of the car our social working called with the great news that we had a baby Girl. It was so exciting for the kids to hear. It made there day and they went to share the news with their friends. I remember feeling like I wanted everything to stop and just let me enjoy this moment in time!! But life keeps rolling...So ..I then rushed over to my husbands office (I couldn't get there fast enough) I walked in the door and told him the news. I had no pictures at that time. We shared a long hug and some very happy tears! By the time I got home the adoption agency had them to my inbox. Oh my goodness did I cry tears of joy on this day and many days after this I would just sit and stare into her photos now waiting for the day I would hold my sweet baby girl in my arms. Each little step in the adoption process is a celebration. I just remember this being a huge one because at last we had a photo of our baby!! Thank you again God for blessing us with such a precious daughter!!

Top is our first referral photo we recieved. We got a whole body photo too and she was looking so very tiny. The one with her green top on was because I asked for new photos. The wait was getting so long and I wanted to see how much she had grown. Even the referral photo was not the age she currently was at the time of referral.

This photo below is one that the foster family sent home with her. We ended up getting over 300 photos of her from them. Bless their hearts for that!!

Top photo is one of her while she was in Korea: She was 6 months old in that photo. From the time of our referral to the time we held her in our arms it was about 3 months! We got our referral on Jan 14, and Held her in our arms for the first time on April 16, 2009. The miracle of adoption is amazing!

This photos are from our family vacation last summer...precious times and memories!

she wears her sunglasses upside down because they sit on her little nose better!!

Cute Video of Gracie...(Turn music on mute at the bottom of the page)

2011-01-04T15:20:00.000-07:00

I am lucky I can take my daughter to the dance studio with me to work. She is a cutie pie and is always having a conversation with me about something..:-)

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T23:16:00.010-07:00

From our house to yours we would like to wish you a very Merry Christmas!!

Happy Birthday Jesus!!

Making cookies for Santa...

Every year we look forward to Daddy making his home made potatoe soup. It cooks all day and after we go to church on Christmas Eve we come home and get to enjoy it! Yum yum. This is one tradition that has lasted for 13 years.

Thanks Chef Terry!!

Then after we eat...we let the kids open gifts on Christmas Eve. We do it the slow way...So we start with the youngest child who gets to open one first, then we keep going. I love this tradition because we get to see what each person gets and the expression on their faces is priceless!

Every gift that Gracie got she would say "I've never seen this before" LOL, it was so funny!

My awesome 14 year old...hanging back to wait to open his next gift!

This was one of the hits of the night..A new kitchen!!

My sweet Amanda...

A million dollar smile!!

How and when did my son get taller than me?? It is crazy really crazy how the years go by so very fast. Bailey is my hugger..always always has a hug for me!! He will be taking his driving test this coming Tuesday..Yikes!!

We all do this right..putting the gifts together..Get out the tools!!

We have to remember Mom's home made peach pie too..

By the end of Christmas Eve we can't forget to put out the cookies for Santa!

The kids woke the next morning to see that "Santa" had come to the house. Gracie was especially excited to see a big Princess castle tent. I don't think Santa realized how it would take up the whole living room.

:-) Then later that afternoon we joined my brother at his home for a great Christmas dinner. Usually in the past we get out the china and have a candle light dinner here. We are still going to do that, but on sunday instead. My brother and his wife were great hosts! Im so glad for the invite and the time we got to spend together. The kids all had a blast spending time just playing and creating sweet memories..(more pics to come of Christmas day)

my snow bunnies..

2010-12-20T21:34:00.000-07:00

Like the awesome big sister that she is ..Amanda takes Gracie out to play and go sledding in our yard. We have had plenty of snow this winter that is for sure. Ok, not as much as some of you I will have to admit. Christmas vacation starts soon for my kids..this thursday to be exact and I can not wait. I am off for two weeks from dance classes and very much enjoying my time of not having to be somewhere! I am going to completly enjoy every minute being home. Last weekend I got most of my christmas shopping done and feel a little ahead of schedule, but then again Christmas is in 5 days. Yikes! Let the traditions begin!

A new season of life..new job....big adjustments

2010-12-13T08:51:00.000-07:00

This week has been a big week..and a very tough one to say the least. Yes life could always be worse. (that is the part of me that always thinks no matter what I really have no excuse to complain at all!!). But for us right now..things are not exactly easy. Lets face it, change is not always easy. Terry has been in his new job now for a week, and now starting week two. He was a little choked up after leaving his office here after 15 years. He invested allot of time and heart into our community and I believe he sure made a difference. As I drive around I am reminded of some of the great projects he did here to make our town look much better! I know it was hard for him to say good bye and yet at the same time he has said he has been ready for many years for a job change change. He is ready for more advancement and opportunity, and not to have a appointed position any longer!

This leaves our whole family with many changes to get use to. I think for me the biggest thing is that my husband will be gone many more hours than what we have all ever been use to. I will worry about his travel each day. He will spend 15 hours a week on the road just driving from work to home and that is if the conditions are good. I will have to learn to leave it in God's hands because there is certainly nothing I can do about it. Your probably wondering why we do not move there right? We just never planned on that being a part of his job change.

My heart breaks for a couple personal reasons. We seriously had a great schedule for so long, we both new it. I miss the schedule we had. We could not have had it better as far as flexibility of him being home by 4pm each day. We are a couple that loves to be together. Lunch dates and all. Am I good with change? I guess my answer would be ..no not when the change is not an easy one. But he has to be happy in his job too and this is a change that he wanted and felt he needed to do. The weight for me seems to be much heavier to take care of things here at home, kids, and running my business on my own. I have been extremely on overload. Feelings of being overwhelmed and not liking this at all this past week. Yes I am a big girl, I know I can do it because you can really do anything when you have to right?

The truth is we have both been ready for a "change". I had just truly imagined it would be an exciting change for us all. I know for NOW this is just a season in our life and surely is not something that will last forever! It is not the easiest by any means, and not exactly what I had in mind, but it is not the worse thing in the world either. For now it is what it is!

Fa la la la la...

2010-11-28T21:55:00.000-07:00

A few pics from our tour of the trees!

This time Gracie did not want a photo, so she layed down and made this face. Guess she was tired.

Finally got her to sit up for a second and smile for the camera. All three of my kids! Love this photo!

So let the Christmas season begin...I love the holidays! Decorating our tree, popcorn balls, home made fudge, family traditions that I cherish! Happy Holidays everyone!

Thanksgiving

2010-11-28T21:47:00.000-07:00

This year for many reason, I just could not wait to get home to see my family. Seemed like the time just flew by. We are so busy when we are home. I don't think Gracie has been in and out of her car seat so many times before!

I usually have my camera very busy, but this week unfortunatly I did not get many photos.

Here is my lovely neice that was picking on me..Dillan!

Here is my aunt Sandy..I gave her the nick name many years ago Noney! She and her husband Bob were so nice to let us stay in there new home while we were home.

Thanksgiving eve..having dinner at my aunts house. This is my Grandparents. As you can see Gracie is having a pretty good discussion with them both.

This is Thanksgiving day out at my Grandma's house. Her and my grandpa have lived in the same home since they got married. You can find every memory possible in her home! Thank you Grandma and everyone that helped make dinner so marvelous!!

Kiddos playing some games after dinner..

This my other Grandma..with all her Great Grand Children. My Grandpa passed away 2 years ago so we really miss him every time we go to visit Grandma. She love her Great Grandkids like Crazy. This is our kids, Bailey 14, Amanda 12, Gracie 2. My brothers kids, Dillan 7, Rylan 5. We never see her for Christmas so she had all her presents ready for us all. IT was a really fun time.

I have done many tire runs in the past 6 months. So my aunt Sandy wanted to try it to run off some turkey day calories..we did and and well.....

as you see...she is dragging a little behind me....LOL.

Fun times with family and great memories for us and our kids with their cousins. Just wish I had more pics.

Happy Birthday Sweet Amanda...

2010-11-20T22:53:00.001-07:00

This day at 9pm. I will remember forever just like every mommy remembers the first time they hold their babies in their arms. Happy Birthday to my sweet Amanda. I can't believe you are 12 already. Wow how time goes fast. You are a beautiful daughter inside and out and you have the most amazing heart. YOu are so giving, and so loving to everyone around you. You are a hard worker and it sure shows..not matter what your doing you give it 100%. You have a giggle that is contagious! You are like a rare gem, and I love you sooo very much.

Happy Birthday Angel face!!

Blog Books?

2010-11-18T08:44:00.000-07:00

My wish list this year is for Santa to have my blog made into a boook. (santa will be myself btw) I am wondering if any of you have made your blogs into books, and if so where did you go through to do this, did you go hard or soft cover, and most importantly are you happy with the quality?? Are there companys where you found the quality not what you expected. Please leave me a comment...because I Santa (me) needs to start working on this one!! :-)

He never leaves our side....

2010-11-17T14:13:00.001-07:00

In my past post I explained that there were some things that needed to fall into place in order to help me out with this transition and make things smoother for our whole family. The one big thing we are use to with our kids is either I'm home with them, or my husband is. Well with the new job change for him..I knew I wanted someone here for our kids during those hours that him and I are both working! I know they are capable of being home, but I do not want that for my kids every day after school, even if it is or one hour. I really wanted to hire a nanny to be here for them after school for a couple hours till we get home. Good news came today and the person we had in mind is going to work out just perfect!! Just so happens that my step sister is transferring to the college near us and really wants to nanny for us. The kids love her and it is a great match!! Then also yesterday I got a call from my sister who loves to teach dance and misses it. After talking with her and working out details I have hired her to work one day of classes for me (3 classes). This will give me this day off totally! I can not tell you how wonderful that is. That is three less classes for me to teach and 3 less recital dances that I have to choreograph. Even though I'm still struggling with the thought of my husband being gone more, and the fear of icy roads. I am at least seeing some other things fall into place that will help me out dramatically at home and my business! It makes me see how God is helping with all the details he knew I needed to have happen! :-) He never leaves our side !

Having a hard time..

2010-11-15T22:30:00.001-07:00

Seems today has been my hardest day just thinking about all the changes that will take place with his new job. I admit I have been in a funk today. I hate anticipating what it will be like or how differently and more organized I will need to be. I think I am scared of what I don't know or how things are going to work here at home and running my business. I am a very scheduled person, and now my schedule will be changing. So I guess I have to revamp right? Don't get me wrong..I am sooper happy for him. It will be great to see him walk in the door each night happy in his job. He really is excited about this opportunity and new challenges. He has no problem driving the distance to get there...(not yet anyway). I know I need to trust that when he says this is best for our family that I should accept that. I know with time I will get use to it all and fall into a great routine at home and with running my business. Did I say the word "TIME"... ugh that means patience right? I just hope I will have a good support system around me and I will be just fine. In fact stronger for it all I'm sure! For now ..tonight I fall into the arms that can comfort me.. Jesus..and tomorrow will be a new day, with a new attitude! Besides, in the whole spectrum of life I really have no room at all to Whine... :-)

News and Changes!

2010-11-14T11:36:00.007-07:00

The change that I talked about in my previous post is that My husband has been offered another job.
We really prayed not for the job, but that if this job was the best for us that he would be offered the job and that the income we had in mind would all match up to make it worth it. Well the door opened, he has been offered the job and the numbers all match up. His job will basically be a lot of the same work, but he is so excited for an opportunity to work for a much larger city, more experience, and of course be paid a much larger income that he very much deserves! I am very proud of him and he has done a great job here for 15 years. He has been totally dedicated to his employees and this city. I know it was hard for him to tell them all this week. There were many political pressures and stresses, and not to mention being an appointed position is not always very comfortable! He won't have that stress in this new job which is worth a lot right there!!
This brings about many changes for our family since this job is about and hour and a half away. We are not moving and he will drive this every day. Is this the place I dreamed of him getting a job? My answer would be no. I honestly visioned him getting another job in a place we would all want to move to. Something exciting, and new for us all....(maybe Florida! :-)haha.

To be honest, I have many mixed feelings about the changes. With him being in another town working, a lot more of the daily pressures, and responsibilities will fall onto me...but at the same time I am a strong person and will do what I need to do to make it work. Problem is that I have been terribly spoiled having him around like he has been. From our lunch dates every day at 11, to even having him home at 4pm with kids when I go to work and run my business, even making dinners much of the time...yep spoiled and blessed I/we have been!! There are a few very important things that need to fall into place in order to make this transition much better. I know God opened the door , he knows what needs to fall into place, and I trust that He will continue to make it work. I hope God works fast on that one..!! He does not start for another few weeks..but I have to be honest ..I miss him already!!

(this photo was taken at our condo at cocoa) our dream place to live someday!

Trusting in Him...

2010-11-09T14:36:00.000-07:00

For many months now we have been praying about a certain situation..really asking God that if he wants this to for us then he needs to open the door and let it happen..But now that is has happened and the door is wide open why do we second guess Him?? Asking .."are you sure God, is this really going to work out". Why do we do that. I guess we ask him to answer, but if we are going to question it, then are we really trusting in him? No probably not. Then again fear of details not yet being known can sometimes be scary. So maybe it is not that we do not trust, but that we just simply get scared to take that jump... That leap of faith. I can not say right now what this is..but I hope to be able to share with you very soon! Please keep us in your prayers that peace with this decision will be with us.

Celebrate National Adoption Month!!...

2010-11-01T12:00:00.001-06:00

"Not Flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own, Never forgot for a single minute, You didn't grow under my heart, but IN it!"
This is by far the best celebration of all. To see children given a forever family. A place to call home! It truly is priceless! Here is the video of many wonderful families who have said YES to the gift that adoption brings. See if you can find us in the Video :-)
(go to the bottom of this page to mute the music, so you can enjoy the video)

"One Less" Video .....Click HERE

Copy and paste the video to your blogs, your face book..where ever you so desire to help inspire other families to say yes!

Lifes like a box of chocolates....

2010-10-25T13:48:00.002-06:00

"Life is like a box of chocolates, You never know what you'll get". We all I have bad days and good days, and challenges in our lives. I am pretty sure of it. But it is all about how you react when you are faced with hard or difficult situations? That is the big question. I use to think that the older we get there would not be such things to deal with, but this is certainly not true is it? It is truly a part of life. Throughout our lives we are always going to be dealing with some situation or another. But... there is hope because as I get older I know that I will learn more about how to not react, or how to react in a better way. Usually for me, I have to get away from the situation and really think and pray about it. Sometimes we may not have a chance to do that if something is sprung onto us.....but. ... Honestly, We can only take the things that come our way and try to learn and grow from them all! Life is like a box of Chocolates!!

Beautiful Fall..Enjoying the last bit of it.

2010-10-24T10:08:00.000-06:00

This fall has been so beautiful here...so we are soaking in every beautiful moment that we can..

I love my kids so much, they are the best!!!

Fun in the Leaves

2010-10-12T23:37:00.000-06:00

These kind of days I treasure.... I love Fall...although I am seriously dreading winter time. (we can talk about that later) I am loving the 80+degree weather we seem to be having and taking advantage of every moment we can to just get outside, play and enjoy the beautiful changing of colors, and the sun on our backs! awhhh love it!

laughing and laughing was this little girls after noon today. Such a great time watching her play like that. She took a great nap later too..

She always wears her sunglasses upside down. This is the only way they seem to fit her tiny little nose!

Here she is saying.."come on mommy , come on".. I had my 200 lens on so was a little ways away to get some good photos of her running in the leaves.

I even got Gracie to stop for a moment and take a photo with me! What a true sweet heart she is. There were three other little girls at the park too, and later when we got home she kept talking about her "new friends" at the park.

On the other Side of the Camera

2010-10-09T17:26:00.001-06:00

Beautiful weekend for photos and someone wanted to take mine..how special. So off we went.

Yes these are my most favorite RED shoes in the world! I love shoes and I do not have nearly enough of them. Now that the season is changing it is time to go shoe shopping once again.

This bridge is one of my most favorite places to go at all different seasons. I photographed some pics from this bridge last winter, this summer, and now this fall. I will have to show all the seasons..guess that's another post.

Yes this old bridge does not have much traffic at all..thank goodness, cause i could sit here and just think allllll day long, and many times I do. The pic above shows how the view goes on and on..This is my special place.

..................and that is me on my special little outing with a special little date :-) on my beautiful bridge!

Life time memories and friendships...

2010-10-09T17:15:00.001-06:00

We are fortunate that my brother and his family live just ten miles away, but yet it seems life can still get pretty busy and we can go a good amount of time without seeing eachother. So when we are together the kids soak in all the fun they can. This weekend was beautiful with the perfect weather. Here are some pics of the kids just enjoying some play time outside! Always Priceless!! Gracie love Rylan!! I guess he is the closest to her size!!

Bailey being the oldest giving rides on the fourwheeler!!

Lets just climb trees!!

Trying to get all 5 in a photo was a little challenging, but oh so sweet all at the same time!!
In the photo above..is my three and my brothers two kids!

Creating life time memories and friendships!

Ethiopia-Dresses for Orphans update

2010-09-28T11:12:00.000-06:00

As we packed up the dresses neatly, my daughter and I were talking about the little girls who would receive them, and we could imagine in our minds the joy they would feel. But now to see their photos, to see their faces is absolutely breath taking!! I have tears welling up inside of me. My emotions are high. I feel happy, sad, full of joy, heart broken, & I am burdened to do more...This baby girl is wearing a dress that was my daughter Gracie's...What an amazing feeling to see this sweet little miracle. Oh how I wish I could hold her and bring her to our family today! :-) I pray she has a forever family very soon.

(a little back story for those that don't know)...Last fall my heart was overflowing with a desire to do something for the children in Ethiopia. Soon God connected me with a wonderful group of people that are doing amazing things in Ethiopia. To hear all of their stories of how things are coming together for this organization (Look Development) is amazing to me. But then again God is amazing. I know one day I will take a mission trip to Ethiopia, but in the mean time we began gathering donations from families to collected Dresses for Orphans. God really had the number 200 in my head..and yes there were over 200 dresses donated by families. Today I got an email from my sweet friend Amanda showing us some of the dresses that made it on their trip this summer. This made my day and I know I will stare at these photos alot! At the same time of their trip they were in the process of adopting and bringing home two children. It was a very busy time for them, but still they managed to get some photos of the girls. Since they had so much to pack the rest of the dresses will go with her husband Matt on their next trip in December. Of course I can not wait to see photos again this winter..

Both my daughters helping pack all the dresses up neatly...

I love this photo showing Amanda giving this sweet girl a bracelet, a flute, and her dress

A message from Amanda "Thank you with all my heart to the loving kindness you put to action to make dresses a reality for so many little girls! What an inspiration it was to these little girls to hear the story of your dance studio & to be given a dress and to know a little girl on the other side of the world had shared with them. Many of these little girls have never worn anything but rags... The excitement from the dresses was priceless! What JOY you all have given! "
"It was a little overwhelming as you will see in the photo's with SO many children at Look Development. We did the best we could being so consumed in the moment to get some photo's :) Thanks again for your making this happen for these little girls! More photos to come when Matty goes this winter!"
"THANK YOU and may the Lord bless you and your girls!"

Here is Amanda's husband Matt. While in Ethiopia they were bringing home two children..Here he is holding his sweet son Gideon! What a little miracle he is !

SOme of the children waiving goodbye to the Desarro's

This woman loves all the children and runs the orphanage! Bless her heart for all she does!!

Please continue to pray for the children you see here. If you would like to know more about Look Development, donate, or sponsor a child please visit there web site at www.lookdevelopment.org

Fall Colors..

2010-09-27T15:08:00.000-06:00

The beauty of Fall is all around us. This weekend and next are the peek time for the colors to be at there richest. I am in awe every time I see what God does as he paints us a new picture for every new season. Here are just a few from this weekend. I hope to get out and get more this week and get some of my family and some new ones of the kids.

My sweetie went with me to capture some of the beauty...She always has her camera too..I guess she is taking after her mommy :-).

Amanda taking a peek at the view from this awesome old bridge!

Precious to me.....

2010-09-23T14:10:00.000-06:00

(25 months) Today Gracie wanted to wear her "owl dress"..I of course had to snap a couple pictures. Believe me she only gave me about exactly that. I can not believe she is just a little over 2 years old now. She talks complete sentences, and her and I have quite the conversations all day long. The other day she said "I have an idea". I was like (laughing) "you do, what is your idea"?, She said " I don't know" . LOL !! My sweet baby girl is so precious to me! I am blessed to be with her all day long. Even when I go to the studio to do work, she is with me and loves to be where ever I am!

TomOrrow ?

2010-09-18T14:57:00.000-06:00

To my lovely FOLLOWER that loves to spell check my blog. I am so flattered that this is now the second time you have taken time out of your life to correct my spelling on the word tomOrrow!!!! Thanks for caring so much about how I spell, but really my blog is for people who enjoy following our journey, and who appreciate my heart. It is NOT for people who are going to constantly nit pick me and how I spell a word as I journal. I guess you do not have it in you to ever leave your name and hey that is all ok with me! But I do however know where you are from...since each message you leave tells me what state and town you are writing from. I hope that you could find more interesting things to do with your time from here on out.

"Bonding"..what we learned & what worked for us....

2010-09-15T09:38:00.000-06:00

I know this is a different experience for all families,but this is ours....I remember praying for so long that Gracie would bond with us right away and feel comfort in her forever family from the moment she would see us. Although I had faith, I also thought getting off the plane and being put in my arms would maybe bring her to tears. To my wonderful surprise she looked into my eyes and smiled. She loved the other two kids and thought they were funny entertainment. The first night she was clearly bonded to me (answer to my prayers) she would not let me put her down for one second. :-) I am not saying the first night was easy beans. There were a couple moments that she cried out to "ohma" that is mama in Korean. She was asking for her Korean Foster mommmy. Oh yes this broke my heart to pieces and I had moments of tears right with her. I held her all night long and prayed so hard that God would fill that place in her heart. Only he could fill it! As we got home and settled in, she only had a couple more moments of crying out like that. I knew and read that this was hard for her , but also a healthy/natural way of adjusting to the changes. We had alot of visitors to come and see her, she was comfortable with everyone and a very happy baby! ...In church that week she went up and sat with one of my good friends and had no interest to reach back out to me. I remember that bothered me a just a little. I think because of all the company, I was feeling like she thought everyone that came over and payed attention to her was her mama. I dug in and read more. I learned how very important it was that only my husband and I do all the holding, changing, feeding, and all the care giving in order for her to know that we are the two that are mommy and daddy. Being home only one week it was easy to basically let everyone know what we needed to do and how important it was for her. It is not that she was not bonding at all, because she really was doing so well, but we did not want her to have any confusion at all. After all she has just gone through some major changes in her life. Leaving a birth mother and then leaving the foster family that took care of her for the first 8 months of her life. She was attached to my hip or she was in my wonderful beco baby carrier front pack. Oh my I love that carrier! I could do many things with her in the pack, and she loved it. She would even crawl to it and ask for it! I remember that being sooo cute!! She wanted to cuddle all the time. Very soon I felt she was completly bonded to us like glue. After about a month I remember being out shopping and an old friend was so excited to see our baby. So excited that she just thought she would grab her right out of my arms... Gracie started to cry, and my friend felt bad. But I remember being so happy. Happy that Grace was deciding on her own that at that moment she preferred her mommy. We stuck to our routine of just my husband or I doing all the caring for her for about 5 weeks and it was absolutly wonderful for Gracie. Was this hard for some people to accept..sure it was...but it was more important for Grace at the time. When I think about it, it really was not much different than the other two were. I was not ever one for other people holding my new borns either. I was selfish.

Today our little 2 year old bundle is totally outgoing, social and loves people. Her bond with her family is strong and is an answer to prayers. She just said the other night after we prayed with the kids before bed. .."I luv my famooly". She pointed to each of us and said "I love you, and you , and you". So precious!!

Here is a helpful letter that you can also use to give to your family and help to explain to them how important bonding is for your child! "Letter To Family" click here

Here is the site I found very helpful filled with adoption stories and bonding with your little one.
"A 4 Ever Family Site "

How we began the Adoption Process......

2010-09-02T22:45:00.000-06:00

God placed adoption in my heart a very long time ago. But he started the big time stirring about 8 years ago. You know that feeling that you can not ignore!! I remember seeing families with Asian children and my heart would melt. I have always been drawn to this beautiful culture and I just knew in my heart that one day we would adopt. I was the one that started to talk about adoption and believe me I talked about it ALOT through out the years. As my heart was seriously swelling with the desire to adopt, It got to the point of when I would even see an asian child I would get tears that would swell up in my eyes. Looking back now that was sooo God working in my heart. So now I really started praying for my husband. Yep he was not totally for this idea. He was not totally against it either. I knew that if this was the plan for our family that God had to complete this in his heart as well and we had to be totally on the same page. So I prayed and waited for a couple of years. And one day he came to me and said I think it is time we look into adoption more. I was soo excited and so were the other two kids. They knew my desire, and they shared it with me too! At last we were both on the same page, so we started seeking families in our area that had experience with adoption and could give advice on agencies etc.. Turns out there were only two agencies in our area. We visited both of them and we knew with out a doubt which one we were comfortable with. This happened to be the one that our friends told us to go through too. We picked Holt International. (http://www.holtinternation.org/ ), next we met with one of the social workers. She was amazing and very caring. Asked many questions. We filled out the application and were accepted with Holt. Next step was choosing a country. This is where it gets interesting. Korea was our first pick. Well Korea program was closed, so we picked China. Well this was right at the time that the China program was gradually getting longer and longer. Instead of marking off a month on the calendar, we seemed to be adding more time, more waiting. We were in that program for one full year until finally we had no peace at all about this. We went to talk to the social working again and with out a doubt since now the Korea program open and was moving smoothly we switched to the Korea program. Yippy!! I always say that God needed us to take a little one year detour so that we would have our little Gracie in our arms just as He had planned all along!!!! About 5 months later we got our referral of our baby girl and when she was 8 months old we got the call that we all wait for..she was coming home to her forever family!!!

I would wait a million years for my sweet little baby girl!!! Just look at her sweetness!!

**MY Next Question I will be answering is
"Bonding and what worked for us"

The Age Gap ....between kids

2010-09-01T14:23:00.001-06:00

I thought this was a great time to answer some of those questions I have been asked before. Plus it gives me something to talk about. So I have been asked before how the age gap has been between our kids. I get many comments that say they see the love in our kids :-).

It seems when couples are thinking about adding another child to their families they (we) usually consider the ages of the other children. Most the time I think people assume that the closer in age they are will cause them to be emotionally closer to on another. But if you think of the people you know now as adults some that are close in age are close in relationship and some can not stand eachother. I also know some people that have many years between their sister or brother and you pretty much have the same statistic ....really it must be a 50/50 chance of sibblings being close through childhood and into adult hood and I really do not think years between a siblings makes or breaks it. I feel it has more to do with how they are raised! For us, we knew God was leading us to add a third child to our family through adoption. We knew this for many years until we knew when it was right. Yes we definetly talked about the age gap and wondered how that would be. After all one being 10 and the other 13 was a big gap for sure! :-) But the feeling of knowing we are to have another child over road the fears of the age gap. I guess we just knew it would work out. Both the older kids have always totally been on board with having a little sister..there excitement has always been amazing! The day they saw their little sisters photos they were 100% in love. It has been awesome to see our two older ones love for her. THey adore her, and she completly adores them. She has them wrapped around her little tiny pinky!!! So for our kids...the age gap has been nothing but a great thing.

For my husband and I.....It would be a lie to say it is not a change going from being use to two older kids to now having a little one again..But honestly it is nothing major at all. When your heart is ready for another child, a baby, you adjust your life to make things work. Some of those changes that stand out to me were at first the lack of sleep (thankfully that phase did not last long at all), not getting out the door as quickly as we use to and packing all your baby stuff with you, (that is also much better now that she is 2 ) and for me not being able to just come and go as I was use to doing. I would have to say I am still getting adjusted to that one. All of this is really nothing major. It is just the things you change for a short time. They truely are only little once and it goes very quickly. I cherish the little color time, playing on the floor with farm animals, taking walks to the park, playing dolls, and having tea party's . These are the times you cherish and these are the times that go wayyy to fast!

Thank you for letting me share my heart.

My next question I will answer will be
"How did you start the adoption process?"

I love this photo so much because they did not know I was taking them....:-) So precious!!

Answering Questions about Adoption and Every day Life....

2010-08-30T23:00:00.000-06:00

I have been asked many different questions over the past year or so. This week I have decided that it is time to just answer them all over the next week or so. If you have any questions about adoption, or just every day life as it is please feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer.
On Wednesday I will talk about this:
"The Age gap"

At the end of each post I will tell you what the next post will be so you can look forward to it.

ask ask ask away!!

Cabin Fun..

2010-08-28T21:10:00.000-06:00

Good times at the family Cabin!! We have been here only twice this summer, but for how relaxing it is...we definetly need to make this a monthly get away for our family. Very peaceful here and you can leave your worries/responsibilities at home. Good for the soul for sure...:-)

Can you see my text??

2010-08-28T12:32:00.000-06:00

I am just checking to see if you all can see my text on my blog. I got a message from one of my bloggy friends saying she could not see any text that my back ground is black and so is the text. When I see it , it looks good with cream back ground and black text. Flowers ect..on the page.. Anyone please give me some feed back. Thank you so much!

Spell Checking/blog etiquette?

2010-08-27T14:47:00.001-06:00

Today I find a messge someone left me telling me how to spell a word correctly. Really? Someone is spell checking me! Is this really proper blog etiquette? I guess I have never left a message like that for someone. Maybe from my own mother I would expect something like that , but someone who can't even give there name and just happens to hop on my blog? humm. I guess I can know that while I was pouring my heart out on the pages of my blog that someone at least was wanting me to know how to spell the word tomorrow correctly! LOL.
By the way..I appreciate you all who leave me great messages of encouragement and support! That is what I love about the blogging world and community! Support!

The juggling begins

2010-08-25T13:10:00.000-06:00

Well now that school has begun and we have those first days behind us. Reality of everything els sets in. Now it is soon going to be time for me to be back at work and running my dance business. This year I will basically be teaching 19 classes a week. Every year it gets extremely hard on me to juggle my family life, taking care of Gracie during the day here at home, and fitting in all the things that need to be done to run a business ..not to mention teaching the classes. Those are two very different jobs. This will be my 11 season this year. I never imagined we would have even stayed in this same town that long or that I would have my business this long. My business stuff always gets done late at night when kids are in bed. Which is another reason I am up so late this time of year and tired all day. I do not put down anyone who uses day care providers. I just never wanted to put my kids into day care, just my personal preference. Most day cares I have seen have sick kids no matter what at them, and I just do not want to deal with that. I do not want to miss out on the new things she says or does. I did not do it with the other two and won't do it with her either. My time with her is important. It would be ideal if I just had someone to watch Gracie two afternoons a week. That would be an enormous help to me to just get the things done that need to be done for my business. That kind of help is hard to find. Does it exist even? She naps in the afternoon, so for now my work will get brought home and I will try to do that during the little nap time window. Do you ever feel like you need a life assistant sometimes? That is me today......

We survived the first day..

2010-08-23T22:55:00.000-06:00

This morning came very fast, and the kids were up and totally ready. Cinnamon rolls fresh from the oven made them smile :-) Off we went to the school. They were both very quiet, and then as we got closer Amanda said "wow, lots of kids mom". I had to agree there really were alot of kids. Big change for them. I had to hold back my tears to be strong. I prayed with them before school and wished them a great day. they smiled and went on their way. Ugh...a lump in my throat and tears go down my cheeks as I drive away. My kids are growing up and God please be near them. Please give them favor! My mom called at just the right moment. Amazing how comforting it is to just hear your mom's voice no matter what aga you are. I came home with Gracie and had to get busy busy...I cleaned out closets and got the entire house cleaned and rearranged furniture and house decorations, spent time playing with Gracie and doing her nails. As you see below :-) Before I knew it, it was noon and they were home again and with Smiles. They had a great day. Lots of different things to get use to , but all went well. They made a comment about how the house was rearranged and totally cleaned. "wow mom you just went crazy getting things done". Later there was a opportunity to go meet all the teachers so we went back over in the afternoon to do that. Now tomarrow real school starts and I am sure they will both come home with home work. YUK!! All in all we all survived...!!

Gracie wanted her nails done and "with tickers mama". She was so proud and showed them off all day.

Sooooooo Sweet!!!

Last weekend before school begins....mommy tears..

2010-08-22T22:25:00.000-06:00

The family cabin is a great get away from all the business of life. We are fortunate that it is not too far from us. So it is easy to get in the car and go for the weekend. We had a great relaxing time together and spent this afternoon at the cabin pool just hangin out. The kids talked to us off and on today about going to school tomarrow. I know it is a huge adjustment for them, but I sure pray that is is going to be a good year and they can have a positive experince. Tonight as we are home now, we were making sure they both had everything ready. Amanda has all her cloths picked out for two weeks. :-) I'd say she has alot of cloths. Bailey ..well he is a boy and will just decide in the morning. Tonight Im making cinnamon rolls for them. It is their favorite thing in the world for breakfast. Tomarrow I will drive them to the new middle school of around 400 kids. (this puts a pit in my stomach tonight). And tomarrow I will drive away a sad mommy. I am certainly a mommy that LOVES having her kids at HOME!!! I think every year I go away with tears rolling down my cheeks, but this year is even different with them starting this new public school adventure. No there is really no doubt that we have made the right decision, but it is still a hard one to digest as well....It is change...and this mom does not like change at all!! Gracie and I will be hangin out at home and I know she will be missing them both like crazy. She adores them and loves to play with them. I hope I do not bore her. :-) Tonight as the kids went to bed we prayed with them about several different things. I hope this gives them and me comfort to sleep well tonight. Here are a few pics from this weekend. Enjoy!

Mommy relaxing...kids playing...

Sister Love...night night!!

Summer is over and back to blogging..

2010-08-20T18:17:00.000-06:00

Some of you have probebly wondered where I have been, and others have probebly also been so busy you have not noticed. This summer has been full of fun things for our family and busy schedules. ..but not as busy as the fall is. Which is what makes saying goodbye to summer so very sad. Next week school begins again, and soon (3wks) I will be back to teaching dance for the season. Next week we will all be adjusting to getting to bed on time and dragging our feet in the early morning. Our kids are now attending public school here in our town. We took a tour this week and they are happily excited! Summer has been so great and it sure seems so short. I am so happy we took our trip to Florida Cocoa beach..this made our summer extra extra special for us all and it was something our whole family needed desperatly. Next time all I can say is that we need to stay for two weeks not just one. Im saving right now for the next trip. :-)

Is is just me or does time go fast? My mom always says to me "the older you get the faster time goes". Well I want to get old, but I sure would like for it not to go so fast. At the same time isn't it interesting that when life gets hard, time seems to move slow and can't move fast enough, and when things in life are good time seems to move too fast and we want to slow it down. I look at my kids and wonder where on earth time has gone. It keeps moving...thank God~! Sometimes I feel like I don't age, and sometimes I feel like I look very old...(guess it depends on the day)...I want to grow old, and yet I certainly am trying to capture my youth at the same time......Yes I'm up down and all around on this one these days! Does anyone els feel this too, or is it just me?

Just my thoughts...as I am happy to be back to blogging again!

Wordless Wednesday!!

2010-08-11T12:10:00.000-06:00

I really should have taken a photo of myself too on this day because I too was vacuming with my sunglasses on my head. ....She copies EVERYTHING she sees..it is sooo funny!

Just for a Season...

2010-08-09T10:58:00.000-06:00

This year we are making the big jump from our kids attending Christian Schooling to now going into public school. One 8th gr and one 6gr. My heart is filled with mixed emotions..especially when one of them..my son is not to fond of the idea at all. But then again he is alot like his mom, and I like what I know and what is comfortable. Amanda is pretty ok with the idea. At the private school they atteneded there were only about 5 kids in there class room. I knew they were getting the one on one attention you only dream about, and not to mention the great spiritual guidance and teaching. Now they will be put into a class of about 25-30 kids. No praying in the morning, or during the day, no bible class! I will greatly miss this for them, and they even have mentioned it to us and how different that will be. We have needed to make this change for many different reasons...I just pray that this year will go great for them, and I pray that they have a heart close to Jesus and will continue to seek him on their own as well..and not just because their parents do. I pray for their strength and all the knowledge that they know to give them strength during the hard times. Yes I know they are not going off to college, but this is a big deal when your child has had prayer and spiritual guidance from teachers since the 1st grade. This next week will be the last full week of summer vacation. It feels to me like the summer just began. Soon my house will be quiet again...too quiet for me. It will just be Gracie and I , and I will also be back to work at my dance studio. My season begins on the 30th of this month. So right now I am doing much of my planning, organizing and registrations. Yep summer is coming to a close and I am not too happy about it. It kind of makes me sad.......But I guess it was just another season, and seasons only last or a while.

Happy Birthday Gracie!!

2010-08-04T22:51:00.001-06:00

Happy Birthday to my precious baby girl. Wow, I can't believe my sweetie is 2 years old today. We are so blessed to have her in our lives! Gracie's personality is one in a million, she seriously steels the hearts of everyone around her. When people see her they are always drawn to her and want to know her more. She has such a loving and sweet sense about her. She talks like a 5 year old and soooo thinks she is one of the big kids. She always says "no Gacie do it mama". Oh yes that is her famous line right now. She loves and adores her older brother and sister and vs versa! She loves to play outside. I think she could seriously live outdoors. She preferes spicey foods. Loves rice...go figure right! She loves to be read to , and has to cuddle with us in the rocking chair before going to bed at night. She is smart, wity, and very independent. Yes , we are blessed!

We had one birthday party earlier in the week with family...and another tonight with little friends!

Here is Video of Gracie blowing out her candles!! Pictures below are from a second party with a few little friends!

I am a blessed mama!!

Wordless Wednesday-- "Can't seem to come back to reality"

2010-07-28T10:27:00.001-06:00

I know our trip is over, and it is time to jump back to reality...but do you see why I am having a hard time? This was heaven! (FYI, yes Gracie picked up someones pop) :-) She always wants to be like the big kids!!

Wordless Wednesday...."mama, sea sells" :-)

2010-07-21T14:49:00.001-06:00

hugs from both my daughters = priceless

"My First Kiss" Dolphin style!

2010-07-16T08:31:00.001-06:00

Discover Cove is definetly a vacation spot to hit if you can! It is one place that was so relaxing. You get there and check in right at 8am. The cost is a little high, but it was for sure worth it for the day. They feed you breakfast and a big lunch, drinks and food all day long are included in your cost. Today I am sharing the highlight for me which was kissing and swimming with the Dolphins. THis has been a dream come true for me. With your family pass you get one dophin swim. My family all voted for me to do it since I have dreamed about it for so long. What a great experience to feel, touch, kiss, and swim with such an amazing animal. They are so sweet!

The boys loved the coral reef, they swam in that all day long snorkeling. There were amazing fish they were just in awhhh over. And the thrill of swimming right there with them was amazing to them. The set up in this park is all like a beach, sand and chairs all set up. You feel like you are at the beach and you just go to whatever you want to do. Swim with the fish, do the lazy river, go see the birds ..this is what Amanda and Grace loved because the birds just land on your hand and you can feed them. It was such a relaxing day Gracie even napped for 2 hours. I vote this a 10 !!

A little taste of Paradise.....

2010-07-13T08:45:00.000-06:00

Our vacation has gone way too fast and now today we will say good bye to my little taste of paradise here on Cocoa beach. We definetly have been blessed with the most perfect weather and good health through out our time here and we even made some new friends. This was so great for our family to really get away and finally take a real vacation. I know this has been really good for my soul. This trip was not about keeping busy...our lives are busy enough. This get away was about getting time to relax, and I can say we did just that. Are we feeling refreshed? Yes!, BUT we are not ready to go back home. In fact this morning we are all pretty sad about leaving. Even the kids say this and want to stay longer. This just tells me that we need to do this more often and a little longer next time. We absolutly love it here and will have this for sure be a destination we will hit again. Hopefully sooner rather than later. The rest of this week I will be sharing some of my favorite photos (I only took 1,300 photos this week) and some fun stories to share with you about our experience here at cocoa beach. I hope you find them fun! Here are just a few for today....before we head to the airport....

view from our condo deck. More very fun pictures to come tomarrow!

Florida Vacation- Day one...

2010-07-08T13:50:00.000-06:00

Our family Vacation is going great! After 16 years of never taking a "real" vacation, I think we will definetly make this a family priority! Well lets just say we must make it a priority! It really has been so great here. I had only dreamed of getting away like this. Well now we are here. In our condo on Cocoa beach and able to really kick back and relax. So far we have spent the first two days just enjoying the beach. The kids are having a blast! This morning we took a run on the beach, it is so beautiful here. I am not going to want to go home..well none of us are going to want to. Here are some pics Im sharing from just the first day. I have so many more, but just thought I'd pick some faves! More to come through out the week. Right now Im thanking God for such amazing family time. So refreshing!

More to come................

Happy 4th of July and B1 Bomber fly by

2010-07-04T13:43:00.002-06:00

Happy 4th of July everyone!! I hope you all have had a great weekend! This morning we went to the local parade. The clouds were rolling in and it was a much cooler day. This photo was taken of us all just before I dropped my camera in some mud and yes it is broke. Thankfully it was not my professional one, and just my less expensive point and shoot one. ugh...but this meant I did not get anymore pics :-( If you know me at all, this was very much a bummer for me! Towards the middle of the parade we had a down pour of rain...now that would have made for some interesting photos too. Grace loved the parade and getting a few pieces of candy. I remember last year at this time I was carrying her in the little front pack. Amazing how fast time seems to fly by. Lots more packing to do for our vacation..so will write more later! Have a great day!

Below is when we got to our house, we hopped onto our roof to see the b1 bomber fly by. :-)

This one he was directly above us...sooo soo cool!!

Carnival fun..

2010-07-04T00:16:00.001-06:00

Carnivals are not exactly my most favorite place to be at. But this year Bailey has loved the zipper ride, just like I did when i was his age. So while driving by the carnival we have been telling Gracie we would take her on the horses, and she was not going to let us forget it either. She loved her horse so much, she would not let go of her when the ride was done. :-) Afterwards we went home and climbed on our roof too watch the local fireworks display. Tomarrow is the parade..so more to come from our lovely weekend! Happy Fourth of July everyone! God bless !

earlier in the day Amanda and I snuck away for a quick pedicure. It is one of our favorite treats to do together. We have to have nice feet or the beach right ..lol

Remembering Gramps..

2010-07-02T21:52:00.000-06:00

2 years ago today our sweet Gradpa went to be with the Lord..and united with his son (my daddy). When my dad passed away (his only son) at such a young age (42) it crushed us all, but for grandpa it really crushed his spirit. He did not think it was fair that his son went before him. I'm sure the moment he entered heaven my dad and him went off fishing..getting the biggest catch of their lives! :-)

Grandpa is someone everyone loved. He was always so giving and loving. He would do anything for all of us. I have so many great memories of Gramps. Going camping, fishing, spending time and being so proud of his garden (which now my beautiful grandma still does). He was the first to take me out and teach me to drive a stick shift. When we went to visit him and my grandma no matter how much his knees may have been hurting him, he was the first to pop out of his rocking chair to give us a hug and a big kiss. Now when we go to the house to see grandma this is the big part missing!

We miss you Grandpa and love you!

And Grandma, if you are reading this, please know that we are so proud of you, and we love you so very much! You truely are the best! We love you!

He passed the test!

2010-07-01T11:15:00.000-06:00

Well it is official..Bay passed his driving test the first time. Don't worry everyone..it is only a permit which means he drives only with us in the seat next to him. This is him driving us home. :-) I am really proud of him, he is becoming a young man. He has a summer job mowing lawns and does a great job.

As for driving....I really was not ready for this at all. He is growing up on me, and I have had to learn to let go just a little bit more to give him room. This also comes with trusting that God will watch over him when I can not. I have always been a pretty cautious/protective mom, any of my close friends would attest to that one. :-) I feel like time is passing so quickly and I want it to slow down a bit. Another reason a vacation sounds so great to us all so that we can just slow down. I think when we are running such a fast pace in life this makes times go just a little faster..or so it seems!

Beautiful Butterfly

2010-07-01T10:56:00.000-06:00

This butterfly has been living in our front yard. I think she is beautiful and I just had to share!The detail is amazing to me. Wish I would have had my good camera on me, but still got it with my little point and shoot too. Happy Summer everyone!

Preparing for First Vacation!

2010-06-29T11:16:00.001-06:00

Soon these feet will be not just sitting at the local water park,but they will be sitting on Cocoa beach in Florida. (no there is no oil on the Atlantic side). It is official and we are taking our first ever in 16 years family vacation. We have been married for 16 years and never once taken a vacation to anywhere, not the two of us and not as a family. I do not recommend this to anyone. I causes burn out of every sort. So take my advice. Get away with your families. I think there comes a time when you just really need to get away from it all, and we are definetly in need of that!!! My friend found us some absolutly great flight deals that we just could not say no to. Maybe this was Gods way of saying..go..go ...go and have some fun and get a break!!! If it was not for that deal trust me we would not be going. We are all sooper excited and the kids are counting the days..Soon you will be seeing real pictures of all our fun adventures..On the adgenda: RELAX!!

Family Fun

2010-06-28T10:32:00.000-06:00

This weekend we went to my bro's house to celebrate my little nephews 5th birthday. They live in a really nice area away from town so the kids can do all kinds of fun things..Here are just a few pics to share.

Bay was on cloud Nine just riding the four wheeler. Then he got me to ride with him.

We stopped by the creek to cool off. It was a hot day..but perfect weather!

And this is the birthday Boy...little Rylan is 5 years old already! This was his bday gift from his mom and dad..he is thinking he is pretty cool little dude. He has my heart that is for sure!

Then my bro wanted to take us driving through the hills with his new toy he got to just goof around in...This was a total blast as we all rode along for the ride. It is fun things like this that create fun memories. Below the mama dear took off as we drove by, her baby was left and totally froze and did not move out of this position. Poor thing...was so cute!

Amanda with her other cousin Dillan. She is my brothers daughter. I think her and Amanda look so much alike. They totally adore eachother. We thankfully only live about 10 miles apart..and we hope to see them more this summer!

What a great ending to a great sunday!

Happy Birthday to my first born...

2010-06-25T23:13:00.001-06:00

Happy 14th Birthday Bailey...Bailey, for your mom, 14 is scarey and fun all at the same time. Suddenly my little boy is growing up on me. How does this happen so fast? This year you became taller than me which really started to freek me out, but I think I am getting use to looking up at you now. It is fun when you pick ME up and carry me across the room. My boy is growing up. I had to learn to let go "a little more" so I could help you be more independent, but yes I know I still hang on pretty tight. :-) I was excited the day I took you out to learn how to drive. ..ok a little scared too. But I also cherish moments like that. Watching you grow, mature, and learn about life and responsibilities. I have watched you grow from my little boy, a tweener, and now a total teenager. The best thing I can say I cherish really is when we spend time in prayer together, or our long heart to heart talks that just you and I have and no one els ever knows about. I love that you always have hugs for me...that always makes my day, so don't ever stop doing that. I love you Bailey with all my heart , soul , and mind! May God bless you with all your hearts desires...Love Always....MOM

Above, I took Bailey driving again......Below..auntee boo boo (my sister) came to dinner with us.

at home for cake...

Word less Wednesday

2010-06-22T22:51:00.001-06:00

22 1/2 months old..(yes i am hanging on to one)

big brother is wrapped around her little finger :-)

Happy Fathers Day!

2010-06-20T18:54:00.000-06:00

A Dad is a person

who is loving and kind,

And often he knows

what you have on your mind.

He's someone who listens,

suggests, and defends.

A dad can be one

of your very best friends!

He's proud of your triumphs,

but when things go wrong,

A dad can be patient

and helpful and strong

In all that you do,

a dad's love plays a part.

There's always a place for him

deep in your heart.

And each year that passes,

you're even more glad,

More grateful and proud

just to call him your dad!

Thank you, Dad...

for listening and caring,

for giving and sharing,

but, especially, for just being you!

Happy Father's Day, Love ya!
Amanda, Bay, Gracie

Candy basket from Amanda! So cute!

Wrapped around her little finger!!

2010-06-15T14:03:00.000-06:00

Yes this little Miss certainly has her big brother Bay bay wrapped around her finger. It is cute, Pretty much anything she wants she knows she can come to him and ask. Especially when she says "big broder bay bay"...He then just smiles and does pretty much what she wants. SHe loves to be like a big kid, especially with her brothers I pod. ..

There are 12 years between these two, but there love for eachother is huge. Some people have asked us how was it to "start all over again with a little one". Well for us we new we wanted to have more children, and really is it not about the years between kids, but more the love they share that is important. If we would have stopped just because we have two older children then we would not have our little Gracie, which I can not even imagine. We felt God leading us in this direction, and he had the perfect baby that He blessed us with! She brings such joy to our whole family!!! The two older kids love and adore their little sister and vise versa. For my husband and I , we just slipped right back into the little baby stuff with no problem...I guess when you desire something like having another child so much and go into it with a great attitude then it all happens very naturally again. Someday maybe we will be blessed with one more..time will tell! :-)

More on Your Child's SS Number.....part 2

2010-06-09T22:47:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I got a few questions from others on this issue i wrote about earlier today.. Titled "YOur child's SS number - Post adoption " Please click on that link in case you missed it .

When we got our daughters passport we were told we needed that because it will say us citizen on it. This way when we apply for the SS card, they will see she is a US citizen,and it should also have the same title! Our goal is so that when we get the SS number we have the title US CITizen...if you read that link you will see why this is so important as they get older!

Ok so one question was
*what did we take to the office to get her passport? We had to take her Birth Certificate, the Adoption decree, and her Korean passport. They would have taken her Green Card, but we did not feel comfortable sending that off with them. Glad they took the Korean passport. The Adoption decree shows she is a us citizen (not sure why we can't just take that to the SS office, but nothing is easy is it?).
The passport came with in a couple of weeks. We took that to the SS office so they had i guess more proof that she is a US Citizen. NOw her SS card better come back saying this..or els :-) You do not know the title unless you call and ask either.

So if you got the SS number with out a passport or the COC, I would call to be sure it says "US citizen" as a title.

Another question I got was
*how long did it take to get her Birth Certificate? It took us one month from our finalization day.

Yes all this can be very frustrating and also put off getting taxes done..this is what happened with us. ..lesson learned here is get the passport or COC right after your finalization day (as soon as you have the birth certificate) ...don't procrastinate like we did because it all still takes more time to get it all done.
Please if you have more questions or comments please leave them, this is all so helpful for all of us families!

Blessings!

Remembering my dad...

2010-06-09T17:39:00.000-06:00

"If Tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again" (this photo is my dad walking me down the aisle on my wedding day) 1994.

He went to be with the Lord June 9, 1996

Today 14 years ago my father passed away and went to be with the Lord. I remember this day so clearly, I'm sure like we all do when something tragic happens in our lives. My dad was only 42 years old, and this very much changed our family forever. I remember him today and want to remember all the great things he taught me growing up. He taught me to work hard, he taught me to follow my dreams, he was the one who always encouraged having your own business, being responsible, and planning ahead. He was the one who displayed complete and total love to my mother. He respected her like nothing I have ever seen before. They were soul mates! He displayed what a great father is..he adopted me at the age of 4 1/2 or 5, this showed me that you do not have to share the same blood line to be someones daughter, but that love, and family is what is important. Today I remember him as a great man, hard hard worker, funny, drum player, devoted husband to my mom, dedicated father to us three kids....today I remember...and today just like all days I miss him deeply! I love you dad!

Here is a dance I dedicated to him in 2005 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGg4ooHmyHY

Your child's Social Security #-Post Adoption Tips

2010-06-09T10:54:00.001-06:00

All countries may be different when it comes to getting your child's ss # after your adoption is finalized. THis information is for Korea adoptions as this was our experience. I wanted to post this because I do not find much or very little information about this issue. SO please read these tips..from our Holt newsletter...
My happy Girl looking over her Passport!!!

Each States SS office May be different...Our SS office wanted us to get a passport first. On the passport it shows on it that she is a US Citizen. So when we get her SS card it should say "US Citizen" Which is what we all want. We do however also plan on getting her COC (Certificate of Citizen ship) because a passport expires, and a COC you have forever if we ever need more proof that she is a US Citizen later in life. Read below why this "title, US Citizen" Is SO Important for your child now and forever....

Information from our Holt news
If you’ve encountered difficulties regarding your child’s Social Security Number (SSN) in recent months, you aren’t alone. Over 20% of the calls Holt receives weekly regarding citizenship are prompted by Social Security Administration issues; either obtaining a new number for a recently adopted child, or having an existing number show up as a resident alien with an expired visa. These issues can delay filing for taxes, applying for a driver’s license, even enrolling in college.

We find that many Social Security offices across the country now refuse to issue a SSN without proof of citizenship in the form of the Certificate of Citizenship (COC). Although the law doesn’t require you to have one, we strongly recommend it based on the number of calls we receive reporting serious issues for adoptees who don’t have the COC. In fact, we have only recently discovered that many SSNs may have been issued under a status of “Permanent Resident” or “Resident Alien” rather than “US Citizen”. The number and card look exactly the same as the cards issued for persons born in the US; the status doesn’t come to light until prospective employers, or college admissions office, verify the SSN, which then appears to belong to a permanent resident with an expired visa. If your adoption is not yet finalized, you can apply for the Adoption Tax ID Number through the IRS, which will enable you to claim your child on your taxes, until a SSN can be issued. If your adoption is finalized, but you’re having trouble obtaining a SSN, we recommend you obtain the COC first, and then apply for the SSN. By waiting until you have the COC you will ensure that your child’s SSN is issued in their adopted name and it reflects a status of US Citizen.

Adoptees who have had a SSN for several years may still encounter issues with the number appearing as a “Permanent Resident”. To be safe, and proactive, Holt recommends you check with your local Social Security office to confirm the number’s status of “US Citizen”; obtaining the COC can take up to 6-12 months after application. You don’t want to wait until the college admissions offices gives your teenager 30 days to prove citizenship!
Please feel free to contact Holt’s Post Adoption Services department with questions. We can also provide you with the forms for the Adoption Tax ID Number and the Certificate of Citizenship.

I hope this information was helpful and will save you all more time or future heartache!

ATTUNEMENT - why it is important for your child...

2010-06-04T13:15:00.000-06:00

What is attunement? The definition is to bring into harmonious or responsive relationship. Some amazing examples of attunement are birds flocking, fish swimming in a school, and people at a stadium doing the Wave. Other more common examples are sitting down or rising from a chair at the exact same time as your friend, or realizing that how your body is arranged while sitting across from a friend or family member is the mirror image of theirs; and when you shift a little they unconsciously shift as you did. When we vocalize in response to a baby’s vocalization we are attuning to their attempts to communicate.

How can adoptive parents practice attunement with their child? The basic elements of attunement are to be open to the other’s experience, use acute listening and observing, be responsive and synchronous. How can we apply this to parenting our children; adopted or birthed? First, empty your mind of any preconceived notions of what you think is causing your child’s behavior; second, imagine yourself in your child’s shoes; third, gather information from your child, if possible, to open the door to her internal experience and accept it for what it is, then consider what you could do that would be most helpful to him. This sounds very simple but sometimes can be hard to do.

What are some of the barriers to being attuned to your child? When a person is experiencing an unpleasant emotion like grief, it can trigger our own grief that we don’t want to feel. Often our first reaction is to try to cajole them out of that feeling. We might find ourselves saying something like it is not that bad or other kids have it worse, let’s think of something pleasant to make those feelings go away, or let’s go get some ice cream to make it all better. Another barrier to being able to create attunement with your child is cultural differences. An example of this is the reserved nature of many Asian cultures. When American parents meet their child for the first time they want to hug and kiss this child that they have grown to love through developmental reports and letters. However, these displays of affection are not common in Asia and the child experiences the parent as being intrusive.

What can parents do to overcome these barriers? One thing is to be open to experiencing their uncomfortable feelings. If a parent finds themselves getting uncomfortable they can take deep breathes and acknowledge their own feelings to themselves, and in some cases even their child. It is important for parents to maintain an appropriate distance from their difficult emotions so they can remain available for and focused on their child. Parents should encourage their child to talk about the feeling or just cry if words do not seem appropriate. It is important to follow the child’s lead in how long to stay with these feelings. This sends a powerful message to your child that you accept and understand to a degree all of their experiences and they do not have to put on a happy face for you. Practicing attunement over and over again with your children lets them experience you as an ally and someone that they can come to with whatever is bothering them.

*this information was provided by Holt International* I find this very helpful!

Summer is Here...Sprinklers, Smores, Camp outs, and more..

2010-06-01T10:45:00.000-06:00

YOu know summer is here when you can start up the water sprinklers!

Here is some fun we have had in the past week...

Amanda had a few of her friends over for a summer camp out in our back yard.

camp out in our back yard..

Smores are the best!

Grace enjoying her big girl camp out chair..

The day was about 90 degrees and high humidity!

Even mom treated herself to a new hair doo, highlights for the summer time..

The new cabin my Mom bought, lucky for us this is only about 45 minutes from our house. I see lots of family memories happening here. This is such a beautiful area and the cabins being built are all brand new. The outsides all look very rustic and the insides are amazing with all the awesome details. The designer did amazing work. ..Below is one of the side views..So peaceful to go here!

My mom, my sis, and me..hangin inside!

and that was a little bit of the past week for us..lots of fun and enjoying fun in the sun!!...

Memorial Day...Not forgetting those who gave it all for our Freedom!

2010-05-31T19:53:00.001-06:00

Turn my music off at the bottom of my page to enjoy this video...

"Dresses For Orphans" Ethiopia bound.....

2010-05-27T08:51:00.000-06:00

many many months ago if you have been following you will remember how my heart was and still is being stirred up in so many ways for the orphans of the world. I was tired of sitting here and felt I needed to start something..to do something. So I began to collect dresses for the little girls of Ethiopia. I did not know then where they were going, but I knew God would take care of the details. Turned out that a organization I was hoping to get involved in contacted me to see if i would become a part of there pray/action team for Look Developement. Of course i was excited and said yes. So I knew without a doubt that these dresses would go to this orphanage in Ethiopia. So last night we sorted and folded and packed up all the beautiful dresses that were donated. As I folded and held each dress I could just imagine these little girls in Africa wearing them, and feeling like a little princess. I also feel that this is something so small and was really pretty easy to do, but in the heart of a child I know it will be a special day when she gets to wear something nice, new and beautiful. After all no matter what age you are, when you put on a new dress you feel so special right? I have been emotional about it really, and I can not wait to see those sweet little faces wearing them and enjoying them. I only wish I could be there too. But our sweet Friends Amanda and Matt (founders of LD) will be going on June 19th to bring home not one but two of there babies home from Ethiopia. :-) They are the perfect ones to hand them out. I always felt like God told me to strive for 200 dresses. People would ask me why 200? and I would say well I just feel that is what God wants! So now there are over 200 dresses donated. Today I found out that there are nearly 400 in this village/orphanage around half are girls and this means that every girl will recieve a new dress!!! How awesome is this!! Thank you to the many of you through my dance studio, kids school, and church family that donated to these beautiful girls! May God bless you in return. Thank you Amanda for inspiring me, you are an amazing woman of God, and your passion is contagious! If everyone did something small and special, it all adds up for these children! What will you do to help make a difference?

you all donated so many sweet and perfect dresses! and so many in each size starting at 6 months all the way up to young lady sizes! :-)

My living room full of dresses!

Grace kept saying "Appica baby's dress"...Her big sissy thinks they need a sweet little sister from Ethiopia :-)

To be continued....more pics will be coming in June...Yeah...my heart is dancing!!

Wordless Wednesday...

2010-05-26T13:49:00.000-06:00

Ever Heard of an Empty Nest Party?

2010-05-24T11:08:00.004-06:00

My Grandmother (my mom's mom) and my Mother...A grandma's guidance is treasured forever!

Well leave it to my mom to have an empty next party....After 38 years of child rearing, This was the highlight for my mom this year...and a day she has been waiting for. My mother had me at a very young age, as hard as it was for her at that age and also with many choices in front of her, she decided to choose life for me, and also to raise me on her own. She was pregnant and married at the age of 16. This marriage did not work out and by the time I was 4 she was divorce from this man that was my bioligical father. When I was about 5 1/2 she re-married an amazing man. This man became my father, and the best one at that! My biological father gave up his rights to me. My new father loved me with his whole heart as if I were his very own child and he also adopted me!! I am so thankful for him in my life! They had a happy life, had two more kids and wonderful marriage for almost 20 years until suddenly my dad passed away from a sudden heart attack. This was the most horrible time for my whole family. Only by the strength of God did we all make it through this difficult time. Several years later she remarried her new husband Mark and he had two kids from a previous marriage. My mom having all her kids out of the house, was in a way starting over again....(bless her heart)... the youngest child in the home now would be only 8 years old. ... Now that child ..my awesome step sister Paige just graduated from Highschool. The house is now empty. Hence 38 years of child rearing for my mother. So we all went home to celebrate Paiges graduation and my moms empty nest party. I think she deserved it after all these years! Happy Empty nest Mom..YOu are the best mom in the world and we appreciate all you do for all your kids and grandkids!! The world awaits you now..what will you do?

Here is a photo of me and my mommy!! Thank you mom for all the great choices you made, thank you first for choosing life for me even though you knew it would be hard, and thank you for being my best friend!

Mom and I, then and now!! Aren't we cute!

My Sister Mandi, Bro Jason, and Me..

Below are my 3 kids and my brothers kids...they all adore eachother!

My Grandpa (mom's dad) who is amazing and I love him soooo much!!

My Crazy Brother in Law, and My sis....They are next to have kids...(someday )

Lots of family and friends stopped by the house.....mom and mark had everything catered and the food was amazing!

Paige the newest Graduate!! Congratulations Paige!!

My sis chasing Gracie around!!

this was a huge photo collage that My mom's Husband Mark put together. He went to so much work doing this.. scanning in photos etc.. and having this made for my mom. We had a blast looking at it and also watching the DVD slideshow all night long of all the child hood memories. Makes you feel like time goes so fast! I think this was the most precious gift Mark has ever given mom.

and so now you know what an empty nest party is.... :-)

Last School Program..Summer Starts Now...

2010-05-21T12:01:00.000-06:00

This was the last horrah for the year and school is out for the summer. The kids are so excited to be done. So now where is the suns shine? The older they get the more they don't like to do programs like this..hence all the faces not looking so thrilled. But it was good anyway. Our kids attend a private school and have since the 1st and 2nd grade. I love to see them growing spiritually. Each year we will pray about if in fact we can committ to it again for another year. As most of you know private school is quite costly. It would be aweseome to see them both graduate as 8th graders here. Bailey will be in the 8th next year. I guess we will see what God provides and where our hearts will be led to.

Gracie was busy finding friends to play with during the program. She is always on the go, I think I burn calories just trying to keep up with her! :-) This was the ONE time she was sitting for a couple seconds.

Children are a Gift From God, Our Korean Adoption Journey

Being a full time homemaker...

Looking back 2011

Visiting home to see family

Merry Christmas Everyone

My Neice ..

Merry Christmas

run, run, run...

beginning to look alot like Christmas..

In love with my neice..

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy 13!!!

Being a Mother is a treasure..

"The profit is in the albums"

Playing in the fall leaves

I got my ears pierced!!!

Recognizing different races

Happy Birthday Storff man!!

A week has passed

A few fall pictures

work weekend

Phase One..Sell, Sell, Sell (Going to be a tuff day)

Sisters Baby Shower

Closing the doors on my business...

some time at the cabin....

Happy Third Birthday Gracie

catching up

How Cute Is This!!

Gracies First Dance Recital

Happy Mothers Day

Family Day/Gotcha Day 2 yrs ago...

Going Private

I did it..My first NPC Fitness Competition

pressing on..

Happy St. Patricks Day

The Famous "Wink" and more funny faces

Where Have I Been...

My Poor Baby....

2 years ago today...*new photos*

Cute Video of Gracie...(Turn music on mute at the bottom of the page)

Merry Christmas

my snow bunnies..

A new season of life..new job....big adjustments

Fa la la la la...

Thanksgiving

Happy Birthday Sweet Amanda...

Blog Books?

He never leaves our side....

Having a hard time..

News and Changes!

Trusting in Him...

Celebrate National Adoption Month!!...

Lifes like a box of chocolates....

Beautiful Fall..Enjoying the last bit of it.

Fun in the Leaves

On the other Side of the Camera

Life time memories and friendships...

Ethiopia-Dresses for Orphans update

Fall Colors..

Precious to me.....

TomOrrow ?

"Bonding"..what we learned & what worked for us....

How we began the Adoption Process......

The Age Gap ....between kids

Answering Questions about Adoption and Every day Life....

Cabin Fun..

Can you see my text??

Spell Checking/blog etiquette?

The juggling begins

We survived the first day..

Last weekend before school begins....mommy tears..

Summer is over and back to blogging..

Wordless Wednesday!!

Just for a Season...

Happy Birthday Gracie!!

Wordless Wednesday-- "Can't seem to come back to reality"

Wordless Wednesday...."mama, sea sells" :-)

"My First Kiss" Dolphin style!

A little taste of Paradise.....

Florida Vacation- Day one...

2 years ago today...new photos